We have been busy worker bees building our house. It is a mutual help program that requires us to work at least 35 hours a week. There are 9 families and we all work on all the houses. It has been a long ride that is winding down (not fast enough though!). We are ready to be done, move in, and get on with our new life. It has been fascinating learning about all that goes into a house. I have helped (along with 3 others) to insulate 7 houses thus far with 2 left to go. The four of us consider ourselves pros at this point. We have turned a noun into a verb. Ever heard of mastic? We have been known to masticate, we have masticated, and we are masticatinators. We have laughed (to keep from crying), we have cried, we have bled, we have cussed in frustration. Kevin has found a new joy of working with wood. He built our porch and installed all of our trim.

I have begun a new journey of whole food/raw diet. A few months ago I ran across http://www.greensmoothiegirl.com/. I began with drinking a quart of green smoothie a day. Being curious about science and the why, I picked up Green for Life.  I then went on to read another of Victoria’s books.  This sent me on another tangent, eating raw.  I went on to research eating raw.  About a month or so, I purchased a nice blender (the best before the big dog blenders).  I started getting into it and started convincing my hubby (who thinks it isn’t dinner unless something has been killed). THEN my hubby killed it!  It was only about a month old!  Welp, I did some research and decided to invest in a Vitamix (for our needs, the Vitamix fit us better than the Blendtec).  Now, we have just gone to Costco and filled our carts with fruits and veggies.  I am back on this path of whole food.

making a book of all my status updates for 2009….I think a new tradition as long as facebook remains

finally cracked open the John and Caprial cookbook we got 2 years ago for Christmas. a fun time cooking as a family and teaching the kids some mad skills

first day back at school, it’s raining and hubby took them to the bus stop. I think it’s gonna be a good year. now if I can only get over this dream that I adopted Ada from Kayla and she came back to claim her. Judge ordered had to hand her over right away. My heart goes out to mamas who have to be in that situation for real! Now, to analyzing……..

enjoying the last day of our Christmas tree then happy to clean up and get my living space back

took down the tree..aahhhh less clutter feels so good! Vahn “u r ruining Christmas!! Santa said….”

Off to watch funny Wednesday t.v. The only shows I can watch over and over and over and laugh my arse off every time and never get bored.

I need my diet Dr. Pepper and some chocolate stat

Had such an amazing time last night hanging with some old and new friends! The most fun with adults I’ve had in a long time, and I am down another pound toward my goal, AND my pelvic model came in the mail (sorry Kayla, maybe I will move it haha), AND Kevin has been offered/is working a wee bit of OT…I am one happy woman!

My goals for the year are officially hung up next to my desk. Where are yours?

having Sushi for lunch, meeting sweet Denise for coffee tonight, and am setting up an appointment for my first paying client…welcome Monday! U certainly aren’t manic today!!

Vahn didn’t want to eat sushi, however, he is in love with Calamari……figures, that kid has weird taste buds! Seriously, what kids likes to eat straight up coffee beans?

I love my life!

Baybeee gettin her ears peirced

after Shawn’s, aka Mr. Intensity (that’s even the name he has on his name plate), spin class, I feel I can conquer the world!!

Anyone know any good books on empowering kids? Kevin and I had an amazing chat about it and I want to pass this on to my babies. Generational patterns stop here!!

Why do I have to sacrifice style for the dollas? The ugly running shoes are half the price as the purty ones! I guess that’s why they are so cheap?

Dear L5, I know I am not very kind to you. I want to play with my children and I love to run. I really want to live life. I don’t want to keep giving the chiropractor our hard earned money even though he is a nice guy! After this round, please stay in place for good!

happy dance! happy dance! happy dance! MY FIRST PAYING CLIENT!!! I only “opened” shop about a month ago too

a teething baby = no sleep, and a delay in work getting done BUT I get lots of snuggles from a very active, not too snuggly baby

I might have another client today (postpartum) and possibly tonight too!! Fingers crossed! Talk about an adrenaline rush to cure any tiredness after a loooong night.

‎”It is only when we learn the lessons life offers that we get to move through onto a greater awareness and new experiences. If we don’t stop to learn what life teaches, we will be caught in the same cycle until we do. It may manifest itself in a different way, nonetheless, the essence of the lesson will be there waiting for our discovery.” me

Kids came downstairs all dressed in black for school cuz they wanted to be secret agents and “blend in”. Chan “u r a black girl”, Cozette back to Chan “u r a black boy”, mommy laughing

So if 42% of ppl thought 66 &67 were good and 58% thought it was bad, WHERE THE HELL WERE THE 58%? Do ppl not realize this is going to cause more unemployment AND how do we know it’s going to go to schools??? I must step down off of my box now…

To add insult to injury, our wonderful *cough* governor announces today that he wants to keep our kicker. Seriously? Does he think we are on a generous role so why not ask?

I forgot to mention……this wonderful speech *cough*, sucked up tv time so no comedy Wednesday. Does he understand what that does to me? I can actually fold my laundry with a smile. The only bleepin’ night I wanna watch that thing

wishes my hubby could be more on top of things…we sure would save some money frustration!

I love to say the word “tincture”

If you & I woke up in jail together…using only FOUR words…what would you say to me? Copy and paste this in your status…I couldn’t resist:)

Baby keeps pulling herself up on things then crying cuz she can’t figure out how to get down. Why cause pain when 5 other people will come running when u cry?

off to get my monthly calendar done and figure out the weekly one. amazing how fast our February is getting CAARAZZZY! At least u won’t find bored ppl here.

February
SOOOO after almost 25 hours and a few more on Saturday, I will be certified to install car seats. I have learned an amazing amount of info and can see why most ppl (including me) have their seats or kid improperly installed. 4 hours today of installing seats and I am TIRED!

a no school Friday….the sun is bright and beautiful so they get to play outside burning leaves with the magnifying glass…I now have a 7 year old!!…today marks exactly 7 years of no real world job….life is good!

am now officially a car seat installer technician. Now getting ready for some BBQ, bday cake, and fabulous friends.

a clean house, taxes filed, and slept in…..now if only I can finish this stinkin’ communication assignment!

gonna lift some weights then enjoy this amazingly beautiful day with a run with new running shoes (ear to ear smile)

I think I may have to skip yoga and help with the birth of a baby today…fingers crossed for her!

WE’S HAVING A BABY!! Off to the wonderful world of OHSU
so they sent her home at 4-5 centimeters??

We have a 5lb 3oz beauty born last night at 11:03. Mama did some amazing pushing and baby only had a very quick trip to the NICU….I got home with 4 1/2 hours to sleep and my baby cried for and hour and a half of that…it’s a caffeine, new baby high kinda day!!!

After a looong 2 days nothing could wipe away the grin at 11:30pm
got overloaded on sugar at a girls night last night and had a lazy day today….back to the grind tomorrow.

Chan has his first therapy appointment today. They seriously think they can get him to sit and quietly play a board game or put together a puzzle. I am super excited for a more stable, happy Chandlur!

Just because I am one of a few parents at the bus stop doesn’t mean I am responsible for all the little brats who have reckless behavior! After this morning I am seriously considering driving them to school. O yea, add on one angry bitter bus driver…fun times!

Chan is officially adopted! We can get all his stuff changed to Baird! I am a little in shock…been a long time coming….

Chandlur “COZETTE! I’m a first grader, I know everything! 16..17..19..”. Cozette, ” you missed one!” Chandlur “Oh, yea, 18..19..”

Submitted my 6 page rough draft…..fingers crossed I won’t have to make too many changes and can be done with this assignment!

I have been hearing lots lately about health. We can ban anything we want but that doesn’t stop us from being fat. It’s about health and personal responsibility. Us chubby’s can still be healthy, being skinny doesn’t mean u r healthy. Take responsibility for u and your kids. Stop blaming the food industry and gov…stepping off box now.

I am about to reach through my screen and punch my blog in the kisser! Technology can be so aggravating!

rough day and a heavy heart (don’t know why, seeking God for some answers), kicked serious ass at Shawn’s killer spin class then turned my car on and “We Are the Champions” was playing. I almost cried.

Tired and worn out from having to be the responsible one………

Love is my friends and hubby pulling off an amazing surprise birthday party. I feel so loved!

March

It has been 14 years since that day I almost died and God pulled the miracle card. I even was excited about having a surprise party. God is so good and I have some amazing ppl in my life!

Thanks for the well wishes….today is gonna be AMAZING! My heart is overflowing!

After listening to a baby cry for almost 2 hours in the wee hours of the morning…..my body has jumped over the edge which I was already teetering on…..don’t wanna be nice or social….off to taking Adalyn to her checkup….uuugggg!!

won the bid on my pull up bar, got sucked into the cake decorating store getting all my stuff to make an amazing chocolate chip cookie cake for our bday girl, baby girl had a fantastic appointment w/ no shots…..after a diaper blow out and loosing keys, the day is looking up!!

The time I knew Chan was growing up has come…..he had his first shred time on the mountain and apparently dominated so much the bunny hill only saw him once and never again!

off to enjoy the lovely sun with a magnificent run

Waiting for dirty bird take out……been a loooong time since i have sunk my teeth into some

thinks her body finally realized she isn’t going to quit so it decided to join in the fun

I love this beautiful state where I have AMAZING friends and the beautiful forest a hop skip and jump away to go hiking in. The beginning of hiking season.

What is it with men and video games?? I swear it is about to mysteriously disappear!

Back from the ER…Miss Adalyn sliced open 2 fingers and had to get some stitches. The bleeding wouldn’t stop after 25 minutes and mama was freaking out!

needs a personal assistant to help me remember to dress the kids for St Patty’s day

Vahn wants to watch the painting guy on channel 10..”but mommy, I need to learn how to paint a dolphin!”

Instead of moving to Japan as much as i want to…we will bring an amazing culture here.

I workout for days like today…races across the field at the park with my kids

‎”Everyone knows it’s a law of the universe! There can only be one pretty sister.” Does that mean i get to be the smart one at least???

Greatness is always in the moment of the decision.

Hopefully we get our internet today. I need to feed my desire! “I think I’m going Japanese. I think I’m going Japanese. I really think so!”

April

My beloved internet is back up….all is right with the world!

The overwhelming urge to bake something IS going to be quenched today!

Hubby on his way home with butter and chocolate chips so I can make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies…..HEAVEEEEN!

Do YOU know the muffin man?

Saw an amazing exhibit at OMSI of actual fetuses from 6 weeks to 32 weeks. Was taken until I began to think of the little lives lost and mamas who lost them.

and I get to use one of the funnest words to say…..tincture

off to make biscuits so kids can have homemade pizza rolls….I feel so domestic and healthy!

Feeling like caca today….couldn’t force myself to work out, took a nap, only got laundry done and feeling even crappier. ….Evil sickness!

feel like a kid in the candy store…so much I wanna do/accomplish….balance is tough!

one of my favorite parks with my favorite family and finally getting some chatting time with one of my most favorite friends…..my heart smiles
‎”Get yer gover’ment off my freedom!”

frustrated and tired…..AND laundry day….can’t wait to go running this afternoon!!!

just got back from buying some supplies to start my placenta encapsulation services…SUPER excited to get that going and now off for a run in the amazing sunshine

got my first placenta client lined up…happy dance!!!

I gotta stop working and chill out for a few before bed….when one thing gets done, 5 more come out of it. super duper excited to read my herbal books and be the master:)

Wise words from a 4 year old….”I love my whole family. AND I love myself!”

May

is it weird to bring my own 100 calorie hamburger bun to a BBQ? I wanna eat a burger but those darn buns!

I am working on an assignment about what herbalism is to me….I sound like all I eat is granola and drink soy milk……geeesh….I guess it IS sorta the subject at hand…

Sometimes I wish we had a whole and healthy Chan, but I guess then he wouldn’t be the Chan we love.

Today, we have a one year old……it isn’t fair!

anyone know someone locally who has bee hives and harvests their wax? I wanna purchase some and would be happier doing locally
after my run today, not sure if I wanna train for this half marathon…..long distances are soooo boring!

Isn’t my career supposed to curb my desire to have more kids? Leaving the hospital today………..

I am proud to be Chandlur’s mommy! That kid amazes me every day and is overcoming some tough stuff.

All of a sudden I have a pukey pants on my hands, he was fine one minute…… my hands are already raw from constant washing.

amazing run AND I didn’t get stuck in the down pour!

Stubbornness ruins lives….God, keep my heart soft!

A VERY manic Monday! Can we start over???

just officially signed up for the half marathon in September……crappy day so we are having sushi for dinner then we have to come home and Cozette has to somehow clean pen off of a neighbors car. Yes, we have a vandal, although not a smart one….she wrote her and her brother’s names.

My already fantastic day ended with a pukey baby last night. Seriously? Was that necessary???

June

gettin’ ready to go camping. fingers crossed the weather man doesn’t lie!

Have the best baby EVER! Didn’t fuss ONCE during camping, even when the smoke was blowing in her face! I think we have a lil camper on our hands.

Kayla Davis
Had a blast with the kiddos camping this weekend. Thanks for letting us take them =) My favorite quotes:

Vahn: No one’s allowed to wipe my butt anymore!

Chandlur: (to my dad) These pancakes are soooo good! My dad makes them bad. (then whispers to my dad) … when I make my first million I’m going to give it to you.

K has the day off and there are a few moments of no rain……off for my 7 mile long run, uugghhh

We tried to be tough Oregonians and go to the Rose Festival (and a stylish one sportin’ the stereotypical baby backpack). It started raining driving out there and didn’t stop = MISERABLE!

Did u know it’s national donut day? Some places are giving free ones! I think we are gonna have a family date night tonight!

Have been working hard on my new website and it is soooo close to being relaunched. It fits who I am better and I am pretty excited!

went to the Starlight Parade and the MAX had some issues so we got home hour and half after hoping to. Baby beat all the kids, they fell asleep and she was still bubbly at midnight!

On my run (8.5 miles!! really proud of myself) this morning I was pondering……at the beginning of the year this was to be MY year and how it has in so many ways. I heard the song “you are my inspiration…….” I have an amazing family and some pretty spectacular friends. yup, I am blessed!

I now officially have my number so insurance can reimburse for my services! Super duper excited for the opportunity that opens up!

Gonna stop working, eat some chocolate sorbet while watching Jillian kick some arse (sorta causes me to feel like a fatty). It’s ok tho cuz I’ve already done my hour yoga class, right??

Does this mean next year we will have a drought?

just finished listening to an essential oils class, now I’m on an herbalism class…..my brain is swimming with new info!

watching Baby Boom (late 80’s movie) with Diane Keaton and feeling inspired!

Vahn has been playing with his vet stuff so I asked him if he still wanted to be a veterinarian when he grows up. “NO! I want to be a super hero!”

after a very successful morning of the farmer’s market with me and the kids (yes, me and all 4 by myself), they deserve a reward of the water fountain. leaving soon for an afternoon of sun, water, and tons of kids.
after such a fun weekend of playing, we are in the final stretch of school and have a SUPER busy week. Let the games begin!

why o why are all browsers not the same*shaking my fists at all you nerdy techies*?!! I suppose only minor issues on one browser with my site is success…

got a full day tomorrow! Have another paid research group ($100 in cash babee!), then meeting with a new couple for postpartum doula services, yoga in the evening, then I have to figure when I wanna do my P90x workout.

watching America’s Got Talent and really wondering what people are thinking??!!!

sooo I have realized this summer my house may be messier than usual and the laundry may sit in the baskets an extra day before folding. I WILL be ok with that cuz I am working out 2 hours a day most days of the week, starting a business, and having summer fun with the fam…..if you come over, hope u don’t mind!

been having some seriously weird dreams! Last night I was moving and I didn’t tell my folks so my mom said they were never going to talk to me again. I started packing faster to leave. The night before, another running dream. I was running from a crazy gunman reeking havoc in the area….hhhmmmm

Do YOU know what you are capable of? We are capable of much more than we think!

annoyed by a black and white people (a person who only sees black and white, not the race silly!), I don’t want to take my kids back.
thinks the cheese man should get together with studio girl and put on a musical extravaganza!

July

a good sweaty run always puts the mind at ease, and lifts a slumpy attitude.

We got to walk through some finished and almost finished houses….so much nicer than we could have hoped…..now, fingers crossed our financing has no probs and we are building by next month!

Sent off our mortgage application today, don’t think I will sleep well until we hear back. They wanna get started building so maybe next week we hear??

is thankful for an amazing friend who has helped me find perspective. I am blessed!

The older 2 are trying to control the baby and getting frustrated when she won’t follow their plans…..she is oblivious! haha

first swimming lessons a success!

If Terri Horman DID have something to do with Kyron, can we say restitution? The money and time that has been sent when she could just be honest…OIY!

To think what life could have been like…..sometimes I am sad, sometimes angry, sometimes grateful…..all the time a better mom, a better wife, and a better woman.

again I feel I’m trudging up that damn mountain….why can’t I be one of those people were things come easy?

kids and I sweated through the parade and came back with LOTS of candy, then off to the park for a family get together where for the first time as a parent my shirt was pooped on in public, AWESOME. Almost 9 and I’m ready for bed!

CANNOT wait to use my new running shoes tomorrow! I’m hoping for no knee or shin pain

I DO floss everyday. Perhaps they are bleeding because you are poking them with a SHARP METAL OBJECT….idk *shrug*

Vahn has been wanting to go to the Decorette Shop and pick out stuff for his bday cake then make it. He picked sharks, a surfer, blue glitter for water, blue glitter gel for writing and swirly candles. He sure did make it easy! Now, if the cake making goes as easy as I hope……….

it’s official….we will be camping at Indian Henry for 3 whole nights…SUPER duper excited!

‎”Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”

August

Off for some girl time with the most amazing Erica McNelly at a beautiful sunny swimming hole

I have been giving my power away. Yesterday I took it back. My joy has returned.

Chicken breast shaped as female reproductive system, fallopians and
all! Hubby spotted it!

prayers answered……both kids accepted Jesus into their hearts at camp today….the beginning of what we already know about Cozette, hopefully this changes everything for Chandlur and his struggles. (August 4th)

so thankful for good friends and my joy of cleaning so cleaning our camping mess isn’t such a big deal

thoroughly annoyed!

We got our letter saying we are approved!! We meet with miss happy face monday the 23. Hopefully construction will start by the end of this month, fingers crossed.

when did $55 a kid for school supplies become the norm? don’t they know some of us have more than one kid? why do WE have to buy the dry eraser makers??

We get our Old Navy shipment of school clothes….Cozette and Chan immediately open and start trying things on, Vahn goes back to playing with his legos and could care less….so Vahn!

got to read for 3 hours today now off to BBQ some fishy and corn on the cob……perfect way to spend the day!

Signed paperwork for our house…God is so amazingly good!! We are getting a 4 bedroom, 1700 sq ft house on a 5000 sq ft lot. All of the financial stuff is even better than we could have hoped for. We are in shock at all we are getting with this house! Ground breaks in about a month….I just CANNOT believe it!

can’t wait to go swimming with our favorite fam and have some pizza for dinner!!

haven’t been able to get to my biz email for 2 days, their response….a glitch in the system with no estimated time of being fixed….do they not know we are businesses???

Listening to the interview with Lars Larson and his interview with Betty Bode from Beaverton City Council…..u MUST take 18 minutes and listen……they want to celebrate Mexico Independence Day BUT they don’t want to celebrate OUR Independence Day…..did I mention, they want to spend tax payer dollars to put this on too!! Maybe Immigration should be invited??

not even mine, yet I weep

Baby found her climbing legs last week and has me chasing her even more if that is possible……she can now climb over our stair barricade and had her first fall down the stairs today. Did it scare her not to go back up again? Of course not!

September

I can’t remember the last time my stress meter has been so high….constant headache and today a migraine……preparing for my half this weekend, all the crap with getting 3 kids started for the school year, and all the paperworks/meeting/preparations to get our house started….hopefully all will be well in 2 weeks!

I finished yesterday…it took a little longer than I had hoped because of the hills at the beginning I didn’t anticipate an 3 1/2 miles on gravel hills BUT I finished, I suppose that’s all the matters. I can’t hardly move today cuz I am soo sorry from my torso down!

O yea…and please don’t ask if I wanna go for a marathon…..at this point in my life it’s a HELL NO! haha I think a half is plenty:)

We close our construction loan on the 22nd and get the hole for our foundation started about a week or so later! The more we get into this, the more excited we become about the opportunity and know this is exactly where God wants us.

It’s noon and Adalyn is STILL sleeping! The last few weeks she sleeps all day one or two days each week, my consolation prize for her lack of sleep. We knew she would go go go and drop for awhile then go go go when I was pregnant. She did the exact same thing.

I have become so predictable even my 16 month old knows! When I finished brushing my teeth this morning, she started to get the broom and dust pan.

they are chopping down ALL the incredibly old trees on this huge lot to make a “memory care” assisted living. couldn’t they have left some? they are huge and old:(

I think the kids got together and decided on mutiny but it must have been when Adalyn wasn’t around. She is the only one that has not screamed at me today…….ooo the joy of the beginning of the school year!

Chandlur “MOM! I got this cool scratch pad from the treasure box, see!? I can make a picture of a placenta for you right here!” I was trying really hard not to laugh. At least my kids know what I do hahaha

Now officially a hippie…..I placed my order to begin making all my families skincare/hair needs (so much cheaper and customized too!). I even have a recipe for natural Microdermabrasion. Super duper excited!

No more toxins through the skin for this family! If you are interested, I can recommend some great books.

turned around and she was on the table eating leftover breakfast

Vahn “WHOA! 27 dollars? We could buy 2 houses.”

Does the government REALLY need another bureau to micromanage? If consumers would inform themselves a little, there would be no need…..Oh wait, we are dumb and need the government to protect us from the big bad rich people. OIY!!

I love my kids so much that sometimes I just want to squeeze them tight, then I remember they have to breathe.

Feelin old lately! This is another night of going to bed early for the last week or so….last night I passed out at 730!

my older brother’s birthday. he is claiming 29, does that mean I can claim 26??

we all want to be unique and yet we all want to be ‘normal’ hhhmmmm what a dichotomy!

Vahn’s favorite color lately is black…..he is one of the most go lucky happy kids I know sooo not an EMO kid…..weird!

October

is thankful that God’s name is a strong tower I can run to and hide in when these emotions overcome my spirit a few times every year. I imagine sitting on God’s lap, him stroking my hair, and whispering “you are right, it ISN’T fair. it’s ok to cry about it, again. don’t forget, your worth is how I see you, not them.”

our lovely friends came over for dinner last night and left us some brownies…..a brownie accompanied my morning cup of joe and cereal…mmmmmm

Just made my first round of skin care for myself and kids. It was like playing with the science kit when I was young. Yes, I am hooked!

‎..best conversation “mommy, so which one was the boy, Adam or Eve?” “Adam” “God made him first, right?” “yup” “what are ancestors?” “ancestors are family that has lived before us.” “so, were Papa and Grandma 10 people from Adam and Eve?” me chuckling, “I don’t think they are that old. There were many many people in between.”

had a date lunch with Chan at Claim Jumper and am reminded how old he is getting and how much I love that kid…

Anyone wanna volunteer to be on our babysitter list for Saturdays at 6:30am til about 3:30?? Pretty please!! I need to be down building our house and Kevin has work. We have about a month before this will start …anyone….anyone….Bueller….Bueller…..

I found the best beauty treatment for keeping my ‘youthful glow’ today….”Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle” Psalm 103:5

Kevin is making dinner and Adalyn has been walking around the house with one of my shoes. She has found the paper towels in the closet (Costco size). She is bringing rolls one by one to him……she must think daddy is messy:)

We speak much more than we act. What have you done today to be sunshine and make someone else’s life easier?

One successful baby shower under our belt. We had such a good time and it was fun to see the ladies dressed up for tea!

eating my snack of greek yogurt, pumpkin, and some spices watching t.v. What commercial comes up? ‘Does your litter control feces odor?’ I mean, REALLY?

Kevin was drinking milk and Vahn wanted some. He poured Vahn a cup, he chugged it and said “that was a great hit!” while wiping his mouth with his sleeve…..hhhmmmmm haha

When u can’t find the exact pieces of clothing to fit your unusual body type, make ‘em! A sewing adventure is comin’ on……

I am so thankful there are many who love my family and I
Kevin surprised me at the bus stop with a skinny pumpkin latte and the rain held off til I hit my front door……the perfect way to start the week!

Dinner tonight reminded me why I married Kevin….the soup/stew sang of fall with butternut squash, apples, chicken, some spices, and some herbs. I couldn’t help myself and had 2 servings. It was AMAZING!

So I just had my cereal with yummy vanilla hemp milk and have brushed out my first attempt at pin curls after taking a shower with body care products I have made and a shower cap. What does that make me?? A retro hippie????

Kevin and I have been waiting….Oprah and the cast of Sound of Music is on now….yes, the original cast! Afterwards, we are watching the movie…Oh how I adore this movie!

woke up with a migraine and made it through church pretty well, now it’s baad…just took my drugs, playing a movie, and laying down with the kids playing outside. happy Halloween to me!

We opted for a small party at the neighbors instead of getting a bag of candy (that I will eat half of). Adalyn got a small baby that is her new best friend and Chandlur was the only kid who stuck with it and successfully bobbed for an apple.

November

if you want change then why do you vote for the same people? why oh why???

I am now a loyal client to the chiropractic office….Mr Cutie also cracked my big toe…aaahhhh

My grandma would be mortified….after getting dirty and a little muddy clearing brush from one of the house lots, I went to Nordstrom (she retired from there) to get an item from the MAC counter in my dirty clothes. I think I get the best dressed award today!

I woke up to a face full of hives. If I hadn’t had chickenpoxs I would have been worried. I go sleep with that achy sick feeling in my body….good times!

In your gratitude for those who have and are serving, don’t forget to talk about our brave soldiers to the next generation. They need some good heroes!

JoAnn’s was having a sale…5 patterns for $5. Cozette and I spent so much time buying patterns we have to go back for the original goal of fabric cuz we ran out of time!

thinks that the ratio of vodka to sparkling water is a little more than the hubby claims.

SWF -enjoys eating dark colored markers and drooling them on my clothes, has an obsession with ooshn (lotion) and loves to eat. hobbies include furniture climbing, long walks in my stroller, playing with light switches, and playing with baby dolls. I am high energy and am not a drama queen. Seeking a partner in crime who will help me cover up and not get in trouble.

Cut out my fabric from my vintage 50’s pattern today. Fingers crossed all will turn out well because I had to do some alterations.

is thankful I have been chosen to change my family’s history, God has given me an extra measure of grace to do it, and I can run free of my baggage. God is good!

thinks you should adopt our family tradition too. we let the kids each pick a name from the tree of foster kids. We then go shop and enjoy some DQ afterward. Instead of getting people even more crap to add to their crap (I mean stuff) pile, get something for the kids, and buy gifts for those kids who wouldn’t otherwise get anything instead of adding to someone’s pile. No long shopping list anymore!

One of the things Cozette was thankful for today was “the cross”. God, all I want for Christmas is childlike faith.

Chan’s first Blazer game live….he is already talking about going to the next one. The excitement of a child is contagious!……and Kevin amazingly didn’t get hit in the head by the tube clapper thingies in all of Chandlur’s excitement.

My brother gets on the sub this coming week for 3 months. I just realized this morning that means he is missing Christmas with us for the first time……I LOVE U SCOTTY!!

I had my first taste of a Scrumdiddlyumptious Bar…..no golden ticket tho:( I guess it’s for the best because a lifetime supply of chocolate would make me GYNORMIOUS.

December

My geo metro dreams going full speed have hit a deer just standing there called reality. I am now searching for a new sturdier “car” scared out of my brains but thankful for a friend who loves me enough to give it to me straight.

will be back after a short intermission. If you don’t hear or see from me, I am alive still, I promise. I will be back better than before.

Spent the morning at the dr. What we thought was a prolonged bad asthma attack this weekend, is actually bad pneumonia. Half of Chandlur’s right lung is filled with gunk. Please pray for a quick recovery and no asthma issues.

I have been researching, thinking and praying. The career choice is….drum roll please……..nursing (for many different reasons). Yes, I think I am going to become a nurse with placentas on the side. Feels weird telling the world…….

So today, we only have one child who went to school. We have 2 boys hacking away excited cuz they get to watch movies all day. This will be the ONLY illness this winter!

Holy crappers batman! Adalyn is now sick. I feel like I am running a care facility instead of a household. I am going to start pumping Emergen-C into my veins!

Yesterday Vahn lost his first tooth. He was sooo excited and showed sister when she came home from school. She dropped it and we can’t find it. Thankfully, the tooth fairy has all seeing eyes and knows it is no longer in his mouth.

worked on our house in torrential rains and slippery mud. took my shower and am packing for a few days away with the girls…..aahhhh
waking up to a quiet enviroment and taking a shower with no interuptions…..heaven!

ever have those days you just don’t wanna say much? nothing wrong, just don’t feel like talking? I think I fulfilled all my word usage at the cabin with the ladies cuz my usual 1 day of not feeling like talking has turned into 2.

Adalyn is obsessed with baby wipes and lotion……even the pediatrician has never met a little one like her……perhaps a budding dermatologist?

My Top Words of 2010
Here are top words from my Facebook status messages!
1: Kids – used 25 times
2: Baby – used 20 times
3: Know – used 15 times

p.s….for those praying for snow, while admire your request and am usually the worst, please stop unless you want to work in it with us. Pray for some sunshine instead. My body thanks you.

I needed a great day like today! It started with the most amazing VBAC birth, then the kids singing at church, getting our Christmas tree (finally!), shopping for the kids we picked off the tree and a blizzard at the DQ……all topped with working on a placenta tonight….(ending with a big contented sigh)

If your kids come home and ask about where babies come from and tell you all about placentas….sorry! Every time they have more questions and seem even more fascinated. This time, they got to touch a placenta and received a mini lecture on handling blood protocol…..perhaps one or more docs in the future??

It may be a coffee day! We’ve got lots to accomplish…finishing stage 2 of the placenta and taking to mama, making some lotiony type gifts for K’s family Christmas tomorrow, finish the sewing project with the kids for K’s mom, grocery shopping for tomorrow cuz K is the chef, folding the laundry….oh what else???

our house is being framed today and we will have a roof by the end of the week!

i just learned a new word, ‘pansexual’. have you heard/know anyone who refers to themselves as this?
now, back to studying my algebra

February 7th, Book of Awakening

After reading this entry, I was struck. I literally could not move because my mind was paralyzed in thought. The passage talks about how often one child in each family, usually the sensitive one (if you know me, you know I am a crier), is selected to carry the families sadness, what no one else in the family will deal with (if you know my story, you know how true this is). As a child I was always told to stop crying; when I got hurt, when my butt got beaten with a wooden spoon, when I was sick, the list goes on and on. A few years ago I was reading a book called The Personality Tree. I read about one of the personalities that described me to a tee. I felt liberated. I was ‘normal’! My emotions were part of who God made me and not just a sign of weakness. This entry, is another one of those realization moments.

I have a weirdness, which I don’t know how to describe well. I have a sensitivity, for a lack of a better word, to other people emotional state of being. Sometimes I can’t even stand it at the mall. I walk through and feel these different energies swirling around. I walk past someone and it’s as if I can feel their sadness, their joy. I always hesitate telling people this about me because of the odd reactions. I just tell people I am extra sensitive to others emotions. It goes above and beyond intuition. I don’t just sense it, it’s like I can feel it too. This is part of the reason large crowds and me just don’t get along well. I can get overwhelmed.

The author talks about how the one child “carries the burden of the family’s inability to feel”. This explains so much about my experiences as a child and even now as an adult.

There are times that I don’t even want to be around anyone. I go through periods where I just don’t want to be social and stay to myself. I have always assumed it’s because something is happening and I need to process it or just don’t want to open up to someone about it. I have now realized, this is not why I become so antisocial. My heart it full of emotions and because of my nature, I cannot take on anyone else’s emotions. I don’t need to process it, I just can’t handle someone else’s emotions added onto my own. Next time I feel antisocial, I just need to heal so I can be the person God created me to be, the person who feels.

Another epiphany that comforts my soul. I am not “weird”. I am ok.

I am training for a half marathon in September. Today I ran 8.5 miles. I did spectacular, but that’s not what this post is about.

At the beginning of the year, I said this was going to be MY year. I was reflecting on my life. It seems I have had made some mental shifts. I have written about some of them…..am now open to moving, letting go of a friendship gone sour, laying off of Kevin, living a more natural life, thinking I am able to run distance. I know there are more, however they aren’t coming to the front of my brain yet. I feel much more open to what life has for me. My business is taking me down some exciting roads I had no idea. Some relationships have grown stronger. I have finally found a mentor that I have been praying for for quite some time.

Now, if only I can master balance, life would be perfect.

We have finally ventured into the land of family camping. I took Chandlur once when he was a baby and it was MISERABLE! We had no idea how Miss Adalyn would do. It was just Kevin, her, and I because the other 3 were other places for the weekend. We went one night out to Fish Lake. It was a bring your own water and s#!t shovel. The day before we went shopping and had to get some supplies since we didn’t have much. That was an adventure in itself! Me with 2 little kids and this tiny shopping cart lugging around tons of crap. Thankfully an employee saw my struggle and offered to help. So, back to camping…… We hadn’t gone to this place before so we had no idea what to expect. We had to hike up and down this huge hill/trail down to the site from our car. That was fun! It was a nice chill time and baby did so much better than I could have even hoped! She slept just fine and even napped. She spent lots of time in her bouncy seat we usually keep outside for her. When the smoke got in her eyes, she would spin around and not even a peep. She never fussed once! It was a nice test run and quite successful. I think we will finally be able to be a camping family!

I have always said it would take A LOT (just about impossible) to get me to move away from this amazing state. I truly love it here. Even a few months ago, I was adamantly opposed to moving anywhere when Kevin brought up the idea of moving for a new position within his company. A couple months ago I was entertaining the thought of all of us moving to Japan for a couple years. Today Kevin came home and said there are some positions opening soon in New York for those with financial/insurance background. I had came back from a run and wanted to shower. In the shower I was pondering this change of heart. I would be happy to move to the east coast. When did it change? Why did it change? As I was envisioning recreating my life and my business in a different state, I felt God tap on my shoulder. He gave me this picture. He is rubbing his hands together with an ear to ear smile on his face. He is saying “This is going to be delicious!!”. Last week in Bible study we were talking about a time when God was preparing you beforehand for a decision that needed to be made quickly. Is this God preparing me, or a release of attachment?

I love the small moments with my kids, the moments I cherish. I got some with 3 out of 4 kids today. It was a bleh kinda day, about the only smiles I got today. Vahny and I had a tickle fight this morning, that crazy hair that desperately needs to be cut, and those extra blue eyes because he has been kissed by the sun. Goodness, he is so cute with those blue eyes and his craters (dimples that are incredibly deep).

I got to take Chandlur to his therapy session tonight. He also displayed his sweet character during therapy. JoAnnita stubbed her toe and he stopped mid sentence to make sure she was ok. He held one of the swings on his obstacle course so it wouldn’t bump into me. He even did the best I have seen with listening and remembering what animal to pick up and which color hula hoop to throw it in. Toping that all off with our car conversation of what his favorite music is. It warms my heart to see him improving and when we have more big boy type of conversations. That kid is so amazing!

Now, my sweet Adalyn. She loves to be tossed around, wrestled with, and tickled. Her laugh has just changed. It is more toddler and less baby. She also loves to dance around, dipping and all. There was a song on that I really like, Aerosmith’s “Dream On”, and she wanted me to pick her up. I had just gotten back from Chandlur’s appointment and she missed her mommy. I flung her around, dipped her, twirled in circles and had her giggling.

I live for these small moments I get with my babies.

I have grown to love yoga.  What amazes me even more is that almost always I am sore the next day.  My favorite yoga teacher reads a passage from The Book of Awakening just about every session.  Sometimes it speaks to me, sometimes it is just a nice reading.  Today it spoke.  Tonight is was about really feeling.  We spend so much time covering ourselves up.  There was a line that said something to the effect under every anger is a hurt.  I almost cried.  A light bulb went off.  I keep getting angry at Kevin because I sacrificed so much for the last 6 years so he could try to start different businesses.  Now it should be my turn.  Unfortunately I haven’t gotten that same sacrifice.  He struggles to do the small things I ask.  A stay at home mom is the equivalent to 2 full time jobs in and of itself!  I have made my health a priority and have been working out at least an hour 5-6 days a week.  To top it all off, I have finally gotten the courage to start my business, Organic Baby Birth Services.  I have been putting A LOT of time and energy in schooling/learning and all the stuff that comes with starting a new business.  I have been working my ass off!  While I am proud of where I am physically and with my business, mentally I struggle.  Anger seeps in, some days exhaustion threatens to take over.  I sacrificed so much for Kevin, why can’t he sacrifice for me? He has started talking about going to school to finish getting his degree.  I keep asking him, when is it going to be MY turn?  Why am I the one who has to remember everything with the kids?  Why am I the one who has to constantly clean the house (have you ever tried to keep up with an adventurous, inquisitive 1 year old?)?  I keep asking for what I need and for whatever reason, it doesn’t happen.  I could go on.  I struggle very much with keeping bitterness at bay, enjoying the moment, trying to let go.  Some days are better than others.  Tonight I realized why I get so worked up over this subject of sacrificing.  I haven’t ever had anyone really fight for me.  There was a time where I was fighting just to live and almost lost that battle.  Even at that point, no one fought for me, no one.  I have never had anyone really go to battle for/with me.  I have been forced to be quite a lone ranger with brings its own issues with it.  I am angry because I am hurt.  I am hurt because I had hoped when I got married that finally I would have someone to fight with/for me.  I guess it comes down to expectations.  This reenforces my quest I have been on the past couple weeks, how can I give to myself that which I hoped to get from someone else.  Its like I can now move on to that step because I understand where the feelings come from.

I am an adventerous person.  I am also a control freak and planner by nature.  I know there are moments in my life where these two areas run parallel when they should intersect.  In the quest of my developing passions, adventure abounds.  I am eager to go out foraging for herbs, I am figuring out things to make, I have become passionate about placentas, I could go on and on in this new herbalism, placenta, doula world I have entered into.  I have truly found where I fit in so many ways.  I have no problem letting go and enjoying the ride.  My personal life however, my new mantra is “let go”.  My house is a mess because no one else will clean and I want to work on my business.  I have to let go that with 4 small kids, my house will never be perfectly clean, just good enough.  When my husband has said he was going to do something and it doesn’t get done….AGAIN.  I must let go and get over it so I don’t go crazy.  When I feel like I have forgotten something else, I have to let go and be ok with the fact I have millions of things going on and trivial stuff forgotten now and again is ok.  When that mantra of “let go” creeps up, I have begun to ask myself how I can give to myself that which others aren’t.  What do I need to do to not have to worry about this or that and focus on what makes me alive and happy.  Short of having a personal assistant to remember every little thing and a robot to keep my house clean (where is Rosie when you need her?), I am still on the quest.  At this moment, reminding myself to let go has to be good enough.  I trust that if I continue putting the thoughts of giving to myself what I need instead of outside forces/people, the answers will come.  They always do.

Today I have been reminded why I don’t like school carnivals. Just like fundraisers, can’t I just send in some money to support the school and call it good? I suppose as long as the kids had a good time? There were so many people and I kept loosing the kids, Kevin volunteered to work a booth for the first shift which ended up being half of the last one, and there just didn’t seem to be very many booths. I guess on the upside it was splendid weather!

On a much different note. We are again at a loss with Chandlur. His tantrums seems to be louder, and occur more than they have in some time. He is getting way to big to drag upstairs to his room. I know I workout and all, but still, all that dead weight! His therapist has not idea either. We are hoping that his brain is just doing another adjustment and it will calm back down soon. Maybe this will be the cycle until his brain is 100%. It seems every few weeks we have a horrid week then he is back to being the kids we know is in there. I can understand a small bit how parents with autistic children feel. We have sensory integration and ADHD. I understand when they say how amazing their kids are and they want the world to see it. Chandlur IS amazing and I feel so lucky that people DO get to see it.