We have finally ventured into the land of family camping. I took Chandlur once when he was a baby and it was MISERABLE! We had no idea how Miss Adalyn would do. It was just Kevin, her, and I because the other 3 were other places for the weekend. We went one night out to Fish Lake. It was a bring your own water and s#!t shovel. The day before we went shopping and had to get some supplies since we didn’t have much. That was an adventure in itself! Me with 2 little kids and this tiny shopping cart lugging around tons of crap. Thankfully an employee saw my struggle and offered to help. So, back to camping…… We hadn’t gone to this place before so we had no idea what to expect. We had to hike up and down this huge hill/trail down to the site from our car. That was fun! It was a nice chill time and baby did so much better than I could have even hoped! She slept just fine and even napped. She spent lots of time in her bouncy seat we usually keep outside for her. When the smoke got in her eyes, she would spin around and not even a peep. She never fussed once! It was a nice test run and quite successful. I think we will finally be able to be a camping family!

Tags: camping • family • vacation

I love the small moments with my kids, the moments I cherish. I got some with 3 out of 4 kids today. It was a bleh kinda day, about the only smiles I got today. Vahny and I had a tickle fight this morning, that crazy hair that desperately needs to be cut, and those extra blue eyes because he has been kissed by the sun. Goodness, he is so cute with those blue eyes and his craters (dimples that are incredibly deep).

I got to take Chandlur to his therapy session tonight. He also displayed his sweet character during therapy. JoAnnita stubbed her toe and he stopped mid sentence to make sure she was ok. He held one of the swings on his obstacle course so it wouldn’t bump into me. He even did the best I have seen with listening and remembering what animal to pick up and which color hula hoop to throw it in. Toping that all off with our car conversation of what his favorite music is. It warms my heart to see him improving and when we have more big boy type of conversations. That kid is so amazing!

Now, my sweet Adalyn. She loves to be tossed around, wrestled with, and tickled. Her laugh has just changed. It is more toddler and less baby. She also loves to dance around, dipping and all. There was a song on that I really like, Aerosmith’s “Dream On”, and she wanted me to pick her up. I had just gotten back from Chandlur’s appointment and she missed her mommy. I flung her around, dipped her, twirled in circles and had her giggling.

I live for these small moments I get with my babies.

Tags: happiness • small moments • therapy

Today I have been reminded why I don’t like school carnivals. Just like fundraisers, can’t I just send in some money to support the school and call it good? I suppose as long as the kids had a good time? There were so many people and I kept loosing the kids, Kevin volunteered to work a booth for the first shift which ended up being half of the last one, and there just didn’t seem to be very many booths. I guess on the upside it was splendid weather!

On a much different note. We are again at a loss with Chandlur. His tantrums seems to be louder, and occur more than they have in some time. He is getting way to big to drag upstairs to his room. I know I workout and all, but still, all that dead weight! His therapist has not idea either. We are hoping that his brain is just doing another adjustment and it will calm back down soon. Maybe this will be the cycle until his brain is 100%. It seems every few weeks we have a horrid week then he is back to being the kids we know is in there. I can understand a small bit how parents with autistic children feel. We have sensory integration and ADHD. I understand when they say how amazing their kids are and they want the world to see it. Chandlur IS amazing and I feel so lucky that people DO get to see it.

Tags: ADHD • school • sensory integration

2010 is gonna be MY year like no year ever before! I am gonna be my goal size, I’m gonna finish my school and take some other amazing classes to add to my repertoire of services, my business is gonna be rockin! Tonight is the yearly goal setting

I am so not down with the illness and my body wants to eat lots of yummy food! Curses!

i guess yoga is gonna have to wait for another day…..

my desk is a mess of papers, my brain is still full of business stuff to do, however I feel the call of CSI and fudge……

is it really necessary to have 50 stickers which need to be perfectly placed on a Barbie House??

lots of fudge, no working out = food natzi next week

Dear Asthma, plaguing a 6 year old boy and scaring his mom isn’t very nice. Can you so kindly take your inflaming personality and the miserableness it brings somewhere else? In our home we only like positive people who give energy, not those who suck it away. Thanks for your consideration. Next time I may not be so nice.

family pics…..successful and we got some good ones! I have the best kids!

family pics this afternoon….fingers crossed for cooperative children!

SANTA!!! I KNOW HIM!! I hope he doesn’t mind a rice crispy treat snowman instead of cookies. We thought it would make us stand out a bit and maybe get something better.

This day is sooooo not turning out how I was hoping! So much for work getting done. bleh!

would the baby like a homemade burger blended up? (we make our own baby food round these parts and apparently this little lady likes serious flavor)

my Christmas resolution….no stress! No cards sent out and not even the feeling of guilt, no spending money on siblings and helping those kids who otherwise won’t have a Christmas, only a few traditions will be kept alive (gotta keep cooking day!!)

The baby cried all night long which has left me with a huge headache and tired eyes, HOWEVER I can’t dampen my spirits cuz Scott is coming home today and we are one day closer to Christmas.

the baby has been asleep since 9 this morning! It is now 2:15! I have to keep checking on her to make sure she is still breathing. Maybe this means she is kicking the icky cold once and for all??

it’s almost 2010….our cars don’t fly and I don’t have my robot maid. Perhaps another 15-20 years?

so happy there is finally a car seat installation certification class in our area…making life safer, one car at a time:)

my body has begun revolting….killer migraine today. it’s like satan is in there laughing at me. Are my goals too ambitious??? Seriously???

discouraged but oh so happy to take that energy to the gym for a kick butt run

oooppps…the tooth fairy forgot but she made up a great excuse that was whole heartedly embraced

sleeping in today cuz daddy had the baby last night…aaahhhh feels so good! gonna be decorating our tree today. Our first huge tree in 3 years!!!!!!!!

life always seems better after a cup of joe….strong and BLACK

vahn just peeled his first little cutie (a tiny little orange) all by himself and boy is he proud of himself….the simple things to bring mommy a smile

I think I am addicted to the gym…..the anticipation of my high is here even with little sleep last night (thanks yet again little one. I’m glad u r cute!)

can anyone teach me a new skill? I need to learn how to sleep with my eyes open.

NOVEMBER

thankful for Al Gore who invented the internet!! Overwhelming amount of resources and fantastic Christmas shopping…Thanks Al!

listening to Christmas music after a kick ass workout (James…it was one hour 15 and I did the back and dead bug:)), smelling the beautiful smells of clean children…..all is right with the world

survived my 2 hour spin class…just barely. I have never pushed myself so hard and have reached a new workout awareness (can you see the clouds parting and the angels singing? I can)…o and yeah for a free personal trainer who will help me be the hot mama of my dreams (u r the coolest!)!!!

o the tangled web we weave when we don’t live truthfully and authentically

instead of getting caught up in your Christmas list…skip a few adults on it and pick out names of kids who won’t be getting anything

went to an adoption dinner last night….this bug is biting hard but we have to wait for a house….next year….did u know in Oregon there are over 11,000 kids in the foster system and 3,500 free for adoption?

miracles happen!!!! our neighbor is being weaned off the ventilator and sat up on the edge of the bed with no drugs yesterday!! keep praying for continued healing and thanks to those who have been praying for him

any other brave, crazy souls out there to join me? I paid my $1 and signed up for a 2 (yes, not a typo) hour spin class Thanksgiving morning starting at 8….Bueller….Bueller….

i think this may be a 2 cup of coffee kinda day….busy on no sleep….again…….who’s up for Zumba tonight at Beaverton 24?

I think I should just stop trying to sleep. I wake up more tired then when I went to bed…..what’s the use?

spin class = very tired legs!

thinks she has no more time for facebook games

hubby surprised me with an extra day off. I got to go back to bed while he got the kids ready for school. then he helped clean some stuff I have been putting off…he’s the coolest!

I have it on good authority, sugar makes your hair short cuz it comes out of little holes on your head….can my fat cells get the same message?

finished making cookies with the kiddos, now I gotta get ready for a busy busy week. if I lost my daily calendar I’d be in a hole crying

thinking of unicorns and rainbows

pray for my neighbor, Josh, more….he might only have a few more days on this earth. he has taken a huge turn for the worse

“rejoice and again I say rejoice” There WILL be a happy cloud over my house!!!

all of my children have landed themselves a free trip to their bed…they didn’t get to pass go or get their $200. they have the rest of the week off from school and it’s only the first morning of the first day!! this is going to be a loooong week

1/2 hour of elliptical and an hour of a weights class…my body is ready for bed!

now that I have been slapped upside the head by God (check out my blog if u wanna know), I’m off to clean some bathrooms and underwear while enjoying a morning with only the baby

sooo….I’m really proud of this page and have to share it…it has taken some work even tho I had some help with the base of each glass http://www.organicbabydoula.com/follow-us.html

anyone feeling nostalgic about fourth of July? I have a baby here who sounds just like a Picolo Pete……and she is free

I make very smart kids….u will see them conquering the world….watch out!

tired of boys who don’t wanna be men and then they wonder why we are the way we are..ggeeeesh!

i’m hungry, tired, my to-do list is not getting done, laundry STILL needs to be folded….blah!

had a fantastic hike in Washington Park with some amazing ladies then hubby bbq’ed for din din yuummmmy! For those praying for Josh, keep it up!! He is incredibly sick, still in ICU, and it doesn’t look good. From a very healthy guy to this in about a week..

please pray for my neighbor’s grandson, Josh. he went to the hospital yesterday with pneumonia and last night was put on a ventilator. She was just told he took a turn for the worse

why is there bubble wrap around the trash can at a hole in the wall Indian restaurant?

playing the heat game….o is it fun!

comparing baby pics….Miss Adalyn doesn’t look like Vahn or Cozette…hhhmmm

OCTOBER

a successful candy getting expedition…everyone loved Lego man

holy crappers batman…my legs are still shaky…Erica and I are going to be stadium ninjas in no time!

about to kick some arse at good ol’ THS running stadiums….burn baby burn!

You become old when you stop learning

tomorrow is going to be a better day!! I AM going to do some stadium stairs! If I hack up a lung at least it will be on someone else’s property

tired after yet another long night with a baby who thinks she needs to wake up every hour or two…almost 6 months of this and I am DONE! can’t she see I need sleep to stop being sick??? At the mercy of someone so small…hhhmmm

tired of cheap appliances they keep fixing and replacing!!!!

feellin like caca today….took a few naps even! I shocked my hubby and told him I’m taking the day off:) this is going to be a long winter!!

thinks not procrastinating sure does take energy! my list has just about been accomplished every day for 2 weeks and I am starting to get up early to workout and read my Bible…now if this baby could just figure out how to sleep life would be golden!

has confirmed her shortness…a mini skirt is just above the knee

had a fun field trip at the pumpkin patch and made a new friend..how come her and I were the only parents going down the slide??!! a group of party poopers if u ask me!

i guess one out of 4 babies who doesn’t sleep is good odds….sure does make a tired mommy tho!

signed the adoption petition on the sperm donor’s bday..irony perhaps? now off to eat some squash and duck for din din….love having a man who loves to cook!

off to sign the adoption petition..finally! my feelings are so crazy right now I feel I could cry.

Cummin…what a great weight loss solution…I open the cupboard and am reminded of those summers on public transportion

istening to Vahn make up stories and talk to himself next to me….that kid has the funniest imagination….he keeps me laughing!

been having THE most productive day….feels fantastic! finally gave in and turned the heat on for the first time in many many many moons

thanks to Karli….crisis averted and DC shoes for only $19!!!

I had the most layed back cpr/first aid instructor! we even got out 2 hours early!!! if you know anyone who needs a postpartum doula or is pregnant and may need one, I am ready…….

had a great time out in good ol Newberg at a bday party for the day…..now sooo not looking forward to my infant/child cpr and first aid tom…if it wasn’t a must for my biz I would skip it:)

preparing for tomorrow…no school and we are gonna have junk food day all day starting with Lucky Charms for breakfast and ending with pizza for dinner with some cookies, candy, popcorn, and soda in the middle.

who takes care of mommy when she is puking out her brains??

praying for creative genious and the knowledge to do it

watching Modern Family on fancast while the laundry is being folded…where is Mary Poppins when I need her most?

in about 3 months all will be official!! aannnnddd it was much cheaper than we were prepared for…God is good!!

off for an early lunch all around cuz we get to meet with the lawyer…i’m doing a happy dance cuz we get too and I was blessed unexpectedly with the generosity to pay for it

what a good day I have had….now, if only the laundry will fold itself

we are meeting with an adoption lawyer on thursday!! finally this will be officially done! I can hardly contain my excitement!

feels like a manic monday…..

had to give a round of allergy medz to all three older kiddos! they must be bad cuz Vahn usually doesn’t have probs

scanning tons of pics….the internet is awesome! no more lost or damaged pics

another day in paradise and a dutch bro coffee thanks to my hot pediatrician who had fantastic taste in shoes (she is a woman)

has a smile that I can’t seem to wipe away

I wish I had Zoe’s magic wand to fix things

our new Monday tradition….going to school for lunch with the kiddos. They eat at the same time and their class tables are right next to each other

a chill day with a trip to the most awesome skate park soon

more tired when when I got up then when I went to bed last night…

recovering from a migraine hangover (they usually last a few days), but the kitchen is now clean and the baby has her 4 month checkup today….can’t wait to see how fat she is…I finally have a chubby baby!! yiippeee!

it sux mommies don’t get sick days…..i had one of the worse migraines I’ve had in awhile…thankfully I got a 2 hour nap when K came home

my friends r pretty incredible ppl who inspire me constantly

had to send my crying Cozette on the bus….I cried walking home

off to bed with a full heart and happy thoughts…such a great way to start off the second week of school!

geez I’m not worried if anything happened to me…Cozette will keep this house in fantastic working order. She is so amazing and doesn’t let being small deter her. Thank goodness for chairs!

Remembering those today who lost their lives and those who loved them…remembering those who have given up their lives for the fight and praying for those who continue to fight for our freedom

9-10 a successful first day of school for Zettie and we lost the first tooth in our house (well, I yanked it out)

Soooo proud of myself if I may say so….after only a week and a half I am already up to running a straight mile! Don’t worry, I have already patted myself on the back a few times:)

our kiddos start school tomorrow…..watching Obama’s speech incase they show a rebroadcast at school…so far only about inspiring education. I am hoping no talk about the economy or politics

Why do women have to be caddy and 2 faced?? Off to go running in the rain…it’s the best!

my kids had their first ding dong and were so excited by it…too cute!! Now off to the parents for a bday dinner with my bro who is visiting for the first time since Christmas…ooo how we have missed him!

Kevin found out he gets Tuesday off too cuz he works Saturday! We actually get a 3 day weekend. WAHOOO!

nutin’ like some Dutch luv to change the course of the day! i love my hubby!

this day has started out quite crappy…..litterally!

farmtown…folding laundry….farmtown….folding laundry…hhhmmm

Miss Adalyn 3 months—add pic

AUGUST

my first run since my back went out…hell! Finding out Cozette got into full day kindergarten…Heaven!

having blueberry pancakes, Kevin’s amazing scrambled eggs, and some nice dark coffee….talk about delic!

i love having a computer…it’s like a second t.v and we don’t need cable..Mad Men here we come

a few deep breaths in a quiet home….aaahhhh

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.”

on ebay checking on my bid for Chan’s DC shoes….he’s gonna be the coolest kat (well, not that he already isn’t). trying to recover from another night…seiously all my kids slept through the night by 2 1/2 months…she is nearing four???

the weather is how i feel…..3 days of the baby eating every 1 1/2 to 2 hours day and night makes for a cranky mama

working on business stuff…..hopefully be able to start seeking clients soon!

“we’re not gonna take it……we’re not gonna take it…..”

recovering today after a fun night with the neighbors…….a fifth really???

anyone know a guy who is good with a skateboard and wants to teach a young one? my sis is looking for someone to help Chan learn (he keeps amazing us how good he already is) and be a sorta big bro/teacher at the skate park….she is even willing to pay!

watching the hot rod tour on Rides…..holy cow these are some amazingly beautiful machines….I am so incredibly jealous…..seriously, what guy puts in a helicopter engine into a small pickup??

about to close the windows for the day, eat some lunch, then go swimming with my fab sis

“when my skateboard job gets old, and then my bike job gets old, my job will be like Michael Jackson. Look mommy, I can do the moon walk!” the dreams of a 6 year old…..

another night of no sleep…a puking child AGAIN and a baby who didn’t want to sleep…..as Kevin says “u can sleep when u r dead”

paying bills…..in the last 20 days we have only talked 135 minutes on our phones combined….yikes! we have no life haha

tired and in need of another cup off coffee….mama’s midnight job of taking care of a puking child..it sure is a 24/7 job!

needs a little more excitement in her life

does anyone know what kind of foam is in an self-inflating mattress? anyone know anyone I can ask??

after a fun night of sushi and creme brulee…..it’s a coffee day today

busy day getting kids and clothes ready for pics in a couple hours and making a cake for Kevin’s bday….busy busy day with the promise of a date night eating sushi…yyyuumm!

cleaning out and going through the kid’s clothes…holy cow!!! we sooo don’t need to go back to school shopping. Cozette is such a girl!

I love my ladies….they fill me up every monday and I can make it through all the crazy days our house has

gonna have some red meat and cancer for dinner…mmmmm does broccoli cancel it all out?

debating on if I should take the baby back to the dr….trying the nebulizer with water…..fingers crossed! She has been sick for almost 3 weeks!

feel refreshed today……a decent night sleep after 2 weeks of dealing with an unhappy baby and cooler weather sure do help!

have so much to ponder………

off to the fair to watch some huge ol cars smash the hell outta each other! rrraaahhhh!!!!!

trying to figure out YoVille in all this spare time I wish someone gave me…..is there a game that gives this as a prize??

JULY

wanna make the special blueberry muffins that could win any baking contest….it’s gonna be 93 tho….hhhmmm

pirates and barbies cohabitating…….only in lego land….thanks Kayla!

off to sit in the kiddie pool and read a book while the wimpy hubby (hey at least he just got out of work in air conditioning!) holds the baby inside by the fan

thankfully the baby won’t need the ER…now what to do for the rest of the day….this heat dashed away the idea of the park…hhhhmmm

dreaming of a full great night of sleep……..

packing up the kids for time at grandmas…..3 weekends in a row K and I have had some quiet other than the baby…i feel spoiled!!

Vahn: (kissing the baby) “she smells poopy!” Chandlur: “Welcome to mom’s world!”

planning the rest of our week….it’s gonna be a busy one with swimming, the beach, some fire works

remembering 5/20/2008…..someday

off to the skate park with my talented boy then on a happy hour date with my hubby….6 years!!!

i don’t need help to stay cool……i gots enough on my own

my son just took a dump outside and the baby won’t stop crying….o the joys of children haha

all around in a bad mood…feelin’ pissed and guilty with this damn back

does anyone have a carpet shampooer we could borrow?? I thought I knew someone with one but can’t remember who…Bueller…Bueller

can’t wait for my dr appt today! I hope some quick cracks and all will be well again.

where’s the genie for my 3 wishes??

trying to move around with a seriously messed up back….it’s been 5 days now walking like an old lady and taking heavy drugs…..can’t a girl catch a break??

aahh a quite house….the kids just left for their first camping trip with my brother and sister….hopefully they will return without too much injury and tons of funny stories

my little slaves have helped clean dishes and toilets….their payment – a piece of licorice and a popsicle……if only a professional house cleaner was so cheap……

we finally have our first loose tooth and a very excited little boy

my back just about had me on the floor again…thankfully I still have some good drugs!

been a busy day and hoping the baby will sleep better tonight than the last few!!

craving burgers and more tired today than in awhile……not again!!

a fun night with some fam and friends, and a short show at Tigard High….we skipped church…and now we are about to go out and enjoy the day with Kevin’s folks

listening to God Bless the USA and getting the chills…ooo how I love my country!

weary and overwhelmed by responsibilities

JUNE

went for my first run in many moons…….painfully wonderful!! the night is perfected with my fav movie….go Elle Woods!

a day full of chill after a busy 4 days…a nice quite house and waiting for my lunch to finish cooking…Trader Joes, I love u!!

thanking God for hope restored yet again….sorry God that I lost it in the first place!

a full night of sleep thanks to an amazing hubby and the wonderful invention called a bottle….getting ready to go swimming….do I still fit into my suit??

got to dance with my hubby today at a wedding…….we are soooo white!

the kids are watching Sandlot…love passing on the classics!

breaking news………Michael Jackson just died of a heart attack!!!!!!

got 6 straight hours of sleep last night!!! Now about to workout my upper body with all the kids taking a nap and watching Weeds….OOOO how I love naptime!!

my mini slaves helped clean and did spectacular, I got a nice long nap, a book is being held at the library I have been waiting a while for, and it’s beautiful outside….could life get better??

dizzy from my drugs and dealing with a very fussy baby…ooo they joys of reproduction….

back from a refreshing walk in the rain….thanks for the enlightenment God!

it’s hard to keep my mouth shut and not rescue my kids from a bossy neighbor….where’s the duct tape??

Chandlur has just informed me he is ready for college…hhhmmm

a house full of children for the morning including the neighbor’s 3 then we get to go see my little boy graduate kindergarten…is it necessary to have a ceremony when they will go back to the same school and have the same schedule??

go go gadget mask

having a productive monday cleaning bathrooms (why can’t boys aim???), the dreaded laundry, planning my week, made Zettie’s appt for her ear…..and it ain’t even noon:)

u realize u r grown up when….on a Friday night u walk out of the liquor store (happy u found what u wanted on sale) to your minivan, drive home and spend the night having drinks with your hubby and watching a movie..am I really this old???

i am waiting for a child to start bleeding…they have been fighting all morning…maybe i should lock them in their room to duke it out??

he baby is sleeping in her bed for the first time and I even put her down partly awake! she is such a good baby!!

King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines!! Just had to share the random fact of the day.

and yes, I had to look up if it was wheelbarrel or wheelbarrow..haha

just watched my kids try to be tough and fight each other then I got to teach them how to wheelbarrow race..I am so thankful to be a sahm!

our microwave we thought died last week came back to life….o happy day!!

paying bills today…maybe i shouldn’t have done this on the same day as my least favorite chore–laundry..blah!

feel like i am finally getting my brain back in the game. ooo mama’s feelin’ good…i guess my first glass of wine in a while didn’t hurt

after some drugs and coffee feeling better, even did a small leg workout and hoping to go walking when Kevin gets home

woke up with a migraine coming on..i was hoping to have a productive day…as Kevin said last night, whether the laundry gets folded or not, it will still be used

discovered an awesome show called Weeds…thanks Netflix!!

my day was made by my fav latte from a beautiful friend….thanks for being thoughtful!!

wishing I could figure out my son and how to help him

a looong night with the baby and a looong day with 2 very naughty children…u can find me rocking in the corner mumbling to myself

MAY

some tired kiddos going down for nap…fingers crossed they sleep well!! the parade was fun but it did make for a late night

just put my preggo clothes away and hung up my “normal” clothes. it always feels so nice!

the first day of no steroids…wahoooo!! hopefully within the next few weeks my body will return to normal and I can work on shedding this fat again

watching a segment on parenting.. why can’t we let kids be kids? let them outside to get dirty and fall off the monkey bars a few times for goodness sake! whose the parent and whose the child??

the kids are already outside playing….throwing Vahn’s breakfast of banana bread we made last night to the ducks..that kid and his love for animals….

enjoying the warm sunshine, smelling the bbq, getting ready to go to Camas for a picnic with a whole bunch of in-laws

so thankful I get to stay home with the kiddos!….passing on my love of books and the hilariousness (is that a word??) of watching Vahn trying to crab walk.

chillin outside with a whole bunch of kiddos

O and today was hubby’s first day of his “real” job…an answer to a few months of prayers……what a great day haha

Vahn and Cozette just left with grandma til wednesday…..a nice quiet day tomorrow and maybe even a nap???

after some serious complications with mama, we are home and doing better than I expected

Our Adalyn Grace Baird  –with pics

my last treatment listening to the new baby next door who keeps crying..finally hitting me I’m gonna have FOUR kids!!

Amazingly thankful for being a restored Leah and having amazing friends!

APRIL

1 week and 1 day + 1 treatment left and hopefully she will be named soon after she is born instead of just being baby girl.

to all my peeps….i haven’t been feelin social lately. been miserable and if it’s not one thing its something else. sorry for all the silence…thankfully my hubby is a nice guy:)

hoping this baby drops soon so I can breathe again..having dreams of suffocation was not fun!

thankful my stuff or lack there of doesn’t define me nor the happiness of my family

so maybe filling the swimming pool was a little premature…oh well….we just got so excited after yesterday!

amazed at how good God is!! when I’m ready to settle He blows away my expectations and gives me more than I asked for.

is dealing with a puking kiddo..fingers crossed I don’t get it cuz I basically have no immune system with all my medz

at the hospital with the first day of double dose..now 12-13 hours. i can’t wait to get home and weigh myself to see how much stuff is coursing through my veins.

the verdict is in….a c-section in 4-5 weeks (is it already time????) with double weekly IVIG therapy and i get to pop some roids. is it really only a month away???

been watching Vahn chase the ducks and almost fall into the pond….my animal lover!

thankful my hubby knows how to cook….burritos better than a restaurant for lunch!

had another dr appt today. had to have a non stress test and tomorrow I have to collect my all my pee in this huge jug then take it to the hospital and get more blood work…..if it ain’t one thing it’s another! she better be a low maintenance baby!

too much to do and def not enough time!!

MARCH

had a nice day with Elise and fam, now off to prayer group…gotta get me some religion:)

my lovely sis just stopped by and we r gonna make some yummy smoothies!!

is sitting at the hospital for another treatment wishing i didn’t have to be a responsible adult.

accomplishing a looong to do list while getting my house back in order after 20 hours of life insurance class in 2 days!

can’t believe one of my kids has a broken bone already and the first trip to the ER. on the upside I got a new pair of shoes:)

is dealing with our first major school injury, Chan dislocated his pinky on the playground

doesn’t know how much longer I can take this seriously low iron thing.

thinks this baby is going to be a super hero with how much iron she is sucking up!

has a card shark on her hands. Vahn won both rounds of Princess Crazy Eights!

can’t believe medical technology!

has no motivation to tackle the to-do list. The bathrooms won’t be too much grosser in a couple days right??

is starting a crazy busy week….fingers crossed for lots of success!!

FEBRUARY

just saw a pic of a donut…I want a whole bunch of donuts!!!

needs a nap to prepare for the busy weekend

is waiting for my free birthday blizzard..yyyuummm

at the hospital for my treatment yet again… we r now 2/3 of the way done

is taking copias amounts of iron tablets and laying down lots to keep them down

is just found out I’m anemic AGAIN even tho I’m taking 3 iron vitamins a day!

is ready for a good nice sleep and some mental energy!

is thinking Valentine’s Day is a bunch of crap. Can’t we show the love year round??

is making some dough selling our crap on craigslist

is down another round of treatment

JANUARY

is trying to get my head back in the game

Tags: facebook

We have been blessed with some money from a very generous neighbor.  They gave us money so Chandlur can be officially a Baird.  About 2 weeks ago we had to go into the lawyers office and sign the petition.  We had all the kids in tow.  Afterwards we talked to Chandlur about what we were doing.  He was so funny.  He had no idea and didn’t really seem to even care.  We tried to explain to him that his name will be changed from Hodgson to Baird.  He said “Oh, like the name my teacher calls me?”  We said yes.  If you ask him his full name, he will tell  you Baird (he can’t even pronounce Hodgson).  We have brought it up to him a few times since and he acts like it’s no big deal.  His nonchalance cracks me up.  In about 2 months or so he will be official and no more of this name crap!  He sees no difference in context to his family, however, when he has to pick out a face color, he tends toward brown.  For instance, his favorite GI Joe has a brown face, when asked to color himself, it’s brown.

Maybe someday he will be curious or maybe not.  Who knows.  I thought at this point he would be asking questions.  I think it’s so cute how he doesn’t seem to think twice about being different.

Speaking of adoption……Mr Spiegel is an adoption attorney and gave us info on adopting.  Since I was a teenager I knew I wanted to adopt.  After looking over it all, the bug has bit HARD!  Much like the baby bug hits me.  It won’t be for awhile though because we need more space.  Maybe in a couple years……

Tags: adoption • Chandlur

Usually God and I get along. Right now…I am sooo angry at Him. I get the fact I needed to slow down and eliminate some things. I am a good wife and listened to my hubby who recently suggested that. Do I really need to be pretty much incapacitated though? I have to take oxycodone just to be able to move. Why God did you have to mess up my back so bad? I have just started to get back to exercising and getting my life in a rhythm. Now, I can hardly move, I can’t be the mom I want to be nor care for myself how I want. All I can do is sit in this damn rocking chair. I can’t even sit on the couch because it makes my back worse. I keep crying because I am so incredibly frustrated and feel guilty not being able to care for my kids how they need. Come on God, can’t You give me a break?? It has already been 5 days!

Tags: God • motherhood • pain

It never ceases to amaze me how the older you get, the quicker life seems to pass you by. The baby no longer looks like a newborn, she is now a baby. Yesterday was her 2 month birthdate. It seems like I just had her, at the same time it seems she has always been a part of our family. For those who doubted my decision to have another, our family would have been forever empty of her sweet presence. She just fits and that’s how I know she was meant to be ours. I just hope and seek wisdom to be worthy enough to raise her (I guess that is the prayer with all my kids). She has gotten the name flamingo. When Kevin holds her up to talk to her, she keeps one foot down and the other she puts back like a flamingo. In the last few days she has gotten quite talkative. She goes on and on like she is telling you an incredibly important story. She also is started to turn her head and make eye contact when the kids come up to talk to her. We think she will be a people person because when she is awake, she wants to know someone is close by or she lets out this little sound that is so feminine and too cute (this really high pitch “oow oow oow”). Her favorite thing to look at, my huge bookshelf. She stares and stares at it. Perhaps a smarty pants and book lover?? Miss Addie is even a great sleeper. She goes about 7 hours at night until she needs to eat, eats then goes about another 4-5 hours. I feel so blessed and honored that God has entrusted me with this beautiful person.

Tags: Adalyn • children

Sometimes God gives me a little glimpse into His sense of humor. Why else do we fart? On Monday I had a doctor appointment. I had to take some nice drugs so my sister had to take me. Before we left, for some reason Vahn had bandaids in his pocket. He gave one to me and wanted me to put it in the diaper bag in case I needed it. He is such a sweet guy! We got to the office, I sat down in a chair, and slipped off my shoes. Grace looked down and said my foot was bleeding. I took out a baby wipe and cleaned it up. Grace reminded me of the bandaid. After it was cleaned up, I put the bandaid on. One of those simple times when God reminds me He will always take care of me even if its as simple as a cut on my little toe. Thanks God!

What a crazy few months!  Now that the baby is here our lives have calmed down a little.  It is funny to say I know.  When I don’t feel well, am in pain, or upset, I like to be alone.  The last month of the pregnancy I was incredibly anti-social and hardly went anywhere other than the doctor’s or hospital.  I was on a high dose of steroids to further suppress my immune system, I had 2 bags of IVIG (which took about 12 hours at the hospital) instead of just one, I had to sleep on the couch at an incline, and I was just plain miserable.

Then d-day came on May 8th.  After a discussion with Dr Tomlinson, we decided to forgo the cordasentesis and go for the c-section instead of a VBAC.  I wasn’t nervous for the actual procedure, however, the recover had me a little weary.  I had no idea how my body would heal after the 2nd c-section.  I’m glad I was ok with the procedure because of all that happened.  I was hoping it would be a routine, I would stay for 4 days, go home, and all would be good.  Well, the hospital recovery kept in theme with the craziness of the pregnancy.  It started in the operating room.  The nurse almost forgot to call Kevin in the room and he just about missed the actual birth (thanks to Dr Wentross who caught it, I love her!)  After she started cutting, the anesthesiologist started putting an IV in me.  I was NOT happy and almost started crying.  I felt like all control was lost because of my spinal and now this.  I guess if I needed a transfusion, they didn’t want to do it through my PICC line.  The birth just seemed so chaotic.  Then, I was wheeled back to my room for recovery.  Things just got worse.

Kevin left to get some dinner with his folks in the cafeteria.  At that point my recovery was text book.  Soon after he left I went down hill.  The nurse checked me and saw I was bleeding more than I should have been.  A few minutes later she checked me again and became concerned.  She pressed really hard on my uterus.  Talk about some serious pain!  It hurt so bad I was moaning and cried.  This process continued for about an hour.  In the middle of this, she was just about to call Kevin when he came through the door.  He said it looked like a war zone with blood everywhere, all over the floor and the bed.  The nurse kept injecting medicine in my leg and gave me pitocin in my IV trying to get the bleeding to stop.  She then called the doctor because all of her attempts weren’t working.  She even put garbage in the laundry bag because she was in such a hurry trying to care for me.  Although I was scared, in pain, and generally feeling icky, I was trying not to get upset and cry.  I knew that would make everything that much worse.  They needed to focus on me physically not helping me emotionally.  Mine and the babies temperature was low, although I felt warm.  They kept piling on blankets then put on a plastic blanket thing that blows out warm air.  I was feeling very nauseaous.  I ended up puking all over myself because my tummy muscles were still numb and I couldn’t move my body.  Kevin tried so hard to help me get it in the little blue bag thing.  He ended up having to clean me up.  Then I asked to have the baby on my chest to get her warmed up.  Finally, everything got under control after a couple hours.  I have never felt so horrible, uncomfortable, and helpless.  I mean, at least with the pain of childbirth comes the baby and you know there is an end.  I had no idea when this would end and I was completely helpless because I was still numb.

I was hoping after this things would get better….no such luck.  Later that night, a test came back saying I had preeclampsia.  Seriously???  Hadn’t I had enough??  Thankfully the baby was fine.  Her platlett count was 95,000 and she was healthy.  I could handle myself having issues much more than if she wasn’t ok.  They had to give me magnesium which burned going in.  That lasted for almost 1/2 hour.  The other bag of stuff hurt a little going in, and I think that one dripped for 24 hours.  During that time, I could hardly have any liquid and I had to record how much I peed.  Ice chips, here I come!!  I was hoping to get up and walk by then, however I was stuck in bed because of all the complications.  I got to wear some cute little booties which kept the circulation going in my legs.  I finally got to get out of bed on Sunday.

On Monday, I got a visit from my amazingly wonderful Dr. Wentross.  She is so cute!  She said I was famous on the floor and she was proud to be my doctor.  I told her I was so happy she WAS my doctor.  She was ticked no one told her about all my complications.  She has delivered all 4 of my kiddos and I absolutely love her!  She can count on one hand how many patients she can say that about.  Anyways, we talked about how I felt and how I looked.  She recommened a transfusion.  She said it would take an extra month or so to recover if I didn’t have one.  My hemocrit the day before was only 19 and Monday it wasn’t much better at 21.  After all the complications, I didn’t want a complicated recovery after I got home too.  A couple hours later 2 units of blood started dripping into me.  The IV nurse didn’t know why they put in an IV along with my PICC line.  Halfway through the second bag of blood, she moved it from my IV to my PICC line because it wasn’t dripping fast enough.  Apparently, the bag can only be out of the fridge for a certain period of time.  She took out my IV and I almost kissed her.  That thing hurt!!  She was looking at it and said it hurt because for some reason they put it right on my wrist joint.  I wasn’t too excited about the anesteologist this time around and the IV was the icing on the cake.  Finally that thing got taken out by a very pregnant IV nurse….I have no idea how she can handle walking the hospital all day.  Finally that night I got to get up and walk.

I wasn’t sure how this whole recovery thing would go seeing thus far, it was filled with drama.  I got to go home on Tuesday afternoon and boy was I ready for a looong break from the hospital.  Someone else can be the star of the maternity ward for awhile.

Tags: Adalyn • baby • birth • complications

Sometimes Vahn can be so much like his father it’s scary.  Sometimes he completely amazes me and leaps out that box.

We were driving home after cleaning the church.  It was just the boys because Cozette was at Grandma’s for the weekend.  The boys helped a lot and were really good.  Kevin asked them what kind of a treat they wanted.  Chandlur sitting in the very back “hhhmmm”.  Vahn immediately pipes up, very excitedly I might add, “SALAD!!”.  Kevin and I exchanged glances.  Trying not to laugh I said, “Vahn you want salad for a treat?”.  Enthusiastically, “YEAH!”  I thought we were going to get in an accident because Kevin was laughing so hard.  That kid always has us laughing whether he means to or not.  When we got home sure enough, he still wanted salad so we made him one and he happily ate it.  How can you deny a kid when they want to eat their veggies?

Tags: funny • health • Vahn