Last Thursday was one of those days you want to crawl back in bed, pull the covers to your nose, and wait until midnight strikes for a new day.  I found myself bawling over a bathroom floor covered in toilet water.  See, my son Vahn is a mischievous one and always is interested in how things work and cause and affect (is that a correct sentence?  there are too many and’s I think. oh well.).  Sometimes its hilarious and sometimes, well, not so much.  I thought he was going potty, however taking a little too long.  I yelled at him to get out of the bathroom (many times he plays at the sink with stuff).  I then hear water running, like the sound of the bathtub being turned on.  I yell at him to turn off the water and proceed to the bathroom for a chat about not fooling around in the bathroom (again).  I get to the bathroom and he is nekkid and trying to gingerly walk through the water so as not to slip.  It had already started flowing out of the bathroom.  I quickly went and turned the water off, then got a couple towels to stop it from coming out any further.  In my low, scary, mommy only uses it when she is about to blow up voice, I told him to go upstairs.  I didn’t trust myself to be around him.  I was already on the brink of overwhelmed due to some stuff I told my hubby I would help him do (that’s what you get for trying to be a good wife).  After the towel was put down, I sat in the doorway of the bathroom and bawled, and bawled, and bawled some more.  I resolved to scrape this stuff back on my hubby’s plate.  It has just become lead in my pocket.  I think because my heart really isn’t into it, and it seems to be just one more thing to commit to.  Anyways, after I wiped my slobbering mess, I had to clean the bathroom and do a couple loads of laundry of clothes (there was a pile of dirty clothes on the floor now wet with toilet water), rugs, and towels.  Apparently this sweet son of mine, piece by piece, placed a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet and flushed.  Aaahh the joys of a curious little boy.

I love God’s sense of humor sometimes.  My hubby had just got paid for the month and wanted to do something nice for me.  I talked to him and cried my whoas later in the day.  He told me he had some extra stuff for me to do the next day after my appointment.  I sighed, more crap to do.  He said I would like it.  He came home that night with an appointment to get a mani/pedi (it doesn’t matter how busy a place is, they always remember me because he is the one who makes me appointments, and I think I have found my favorite place) and a gift card for my favorite little coffee shop.

On friday, I went to my appointment, bought a book, went to Ava Roaseria’s for lunch and coffee, then went to get my nails all prettied up.

Whenever I get really frustrated with Kevin, it seems he does something which then makes me feel like a shmuck.  The funny thing is, I don’t tell him I am frustrated and he has no clue.  He will just show up with something nice like flowers or a gift card for coffee.

It never ceases to amaze me how much my kids love each other.  My favorite sound is hearing them make each other laugh.  They are incredibly close and don’t cross them.  It’s funny when one gets in trouble because the others will tell us to leave them alone.  To all you who will know them in school, my advice, don’t mess with any of my kids.  I have one who will get you underhanded and when you least expect it, Cozette.  I have one who will fight you in a heart beat if it means standing up for his family, Chandlur.  I have one who will make a big joke of it and embarrass you, we call him Vahn.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you, future classmates.

After snack time, the kids  starting playing together.  Cozette looks at Chandlur “We missed you today,” then turning to Vahn “right?”.  Now they are making each other histarical over this box Kevin turned into a train.  I know i have some pretty amazing kiddos:)

I know I have been quiet this week.  I have been nursing the worst migraine I have had in years.  It has lasted a few days and finally died this morning.  I have been working on getting my house back in order.  It’s about half way there.  Maybe tomorrow I will finish it up.  A messy house drives me CRAZY!  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  My sweet hubby told me to take it slow, however, when it comes to my environment, I just can’t.  I always ask him how he would feel if his office looked like a pig sty.  He always smiles and bows out gracefully.  I know he means well, and I love him for it.

I also have begun another blog, Apex of Health.  It is mostly finished but not 100% yet.  I have some posts up so go check it out and tell me what you think.  I have loved writing since we had to write books in 4th grade.  I just need to make sure I keep them all straight:)

i don’t take out my picket sign much, however, today was one of those days.  i always joke with my hubby he will come home and i will be outside pacing with my sign chanting “Higher Wages, Better Benefits”.  It wasn’t necessarily a bad day, just one of those days you wish the pay was better.  The pace i have been going lately has made me a bit tired (not to mention a couple months back i switched to decaf!).  i had the neighbor’s baby today and she was quite fussy (i think she is teething).  my youngest, newly potty trained man had the runs BAD!  I was trying to do Cozette’s learning time (she gets her own time since we decided not to do preschool this year) and we kept getting interrupted.  The baby kept getting upset, then Vahn had to poop (its only been 3 days since the torture of the first experience so he still needs company),  then we would get started and the baby would cry, then Vahn had to go AGAIN!  For some reason the kids wanted to play instead of pick up toys.  This surprised me because Cozette can be such a task master (wonder where she got that great eehhmm leadership quality?).  She will tell you where everything goes, remind you to pick up if you aren’t, and encourage you when you are.  i guess no lunch time cookies little children because i only give cookies to boys and girls who clean up after themselves.  On to nap time.  Since i was so tired, i was going to get a quick shut eye.  UUhh, no.  Lately the baby’s nap time hasn’t been completely peaceful.  She wakes up, cries for a few, then falls back asleep.  Why are we so tortured with teething in this life??!!  Someone answer me!  Just after i fell asleep, she woke up and proceeded with her cycle of crying and sleeping.  i guess i have to work, that didn’t even go well!  Comcast must be doing something on the street because the TV and internet went off at the same time for about an hour.  YIKES!  Precious nap time work, bye bye.  The topper of it all is diarrhea boy.  Twice this afternoon, he let loose and clothes were crying (at least i thought i heard them.  maybe it was just me).  One pair of pants had to be cut like they do when you are in an accident and they have to cut off your clothes.  Thankfully we still have some Pull Ups!  He was quite mad he couldn’t wear his undies to bed, no thank you!  Full day kindergarten has been a huge adjustement for Chandlur and especially his attitude in the evening.  He has been argumentative, whiny, and just all around more tired (that’s what my intuitive mommy brain says).  My hubby came home a wee earlier than normal and made dinner.  Does that count for better benefits?

As some of you know, i have been implementing techniques from Love and Logic.  One of them is the energy drain.  What does the child have to do to give you some energy?  Either sell a toy or do one of your chores.  This weekend it was put into great practice and quite hilarious.  All three of the kids had to choose something.  Cozette choose to clean the dining room floor (no surprise since she loves to anyways).  Vahn chose to clean the kitchen floor.  Hasn’t he learned, you just don’t mess with mama?  He flat out refused so guess what, he immediately went to bed which was about an hour early.  He cried and cried and cried.  But alas, he again had to do another chore (clean a toilet of his choice) the next day and not even a sign of refusal.  HA, mommy wins!!  Chandlur chose to vacuum the living room.  i have never seen a kid have more fun with a chore before!  He experienced the power of suction on everything from his shirt, to his hair, to a blanket.  i was laughing pretty hard watching him get such a kick out of the vacuum hose.  He even went waay above and beyond the call of duty, it was incredible how thorough he was.  He even took it to the toy room and vacuumed that!  i have always thought if they aren’t crying, the punishment isn’t working.  This book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, talks about how it can be fun and still teach lessons.  When Vahn had to do his second chore, at first Chan Man thought he did too and was crying even though vacuuming was so much fun.  Whenever they hear the words “How sad, mommy is loosing energy”, they immediately stop what they are doing and ask if they still have to do a chore.  Speaking of which, nap time today wasn’t very successful and the younger two owe me some time.  It’s fantastic!  i get my house pretty clean (i am amazed at how well they CAN clean) with this technique.  i am beginning to use it more and more:)  If you are a parent, i cannot recommend these books enough!

Today was the first official day of school in our house (unless you consider preschool).  We all walked Chandlur out to the bus stop, and i almost cried (i kept myself in check though with some hard swallows) .  We kept having conversations if he was nervous about anything.  In typical Chandlur fashion, and emphatic no. He got on the bus and waved proudly with the biggest smile i have seen from him.  He is now a big boy who gets to ride the school bus.

i forgot today and tomorrow they are out 25 minutes earlier than normal.  i was watching the clock to get him from the bus stop.  All of a sudden he came bounding into the house.  He proudly told me how he walked in the bark chips(there isn’t a side walk) and walked close to the trees.  He also had an uneaten lunch. hhmm i was trying to get out of him why.  All i can understand is that somehow he got lunch at school and the teacher said not to bring his lunch??  Maybe they have a new program of free food??  Wait, that would mean higher taxes.  Ok, maybe not a great idea.  He also had papers to give to his teacher (permission slips and such).  At first he said he gave them to the bus driver, then he said he put them on the counter (at home), then he said his teacher got them.  The reliability of a 5 year old, oy!  Another question for the teacher.  Geesh, i don’t want to come off as a helicopter parent for this poor lady.

All in all sounds like he had a great day and is excited to go back tomorrow.  i hope when conferences come around, i don’t get the “disruptive” notification.  He loves to talk and is easily distracted.  i guess i can’t expect much more from a 5 year old boy who loves life?

In the ever poignant words of Cindi Lauper..”Just another manic Monday.  Wish it were Sunday cuz that’s my fun day!”  Today was a day when you wish motherhood was a regular job.  If you are having a rough time, you can take a break or leave work all together.  i think if i left, someone may call Child Services because of some crying kids who are walking around in their underwear.  The last month or so naptime has become a struggle with my younger 2.  We have tried seperating them because they are in the same room.  We decided to put Cozette in our room.  Now, instead of causing trouble in their room, they have moved it to ours.  Now, Vahn migrates over there and they go through our stuff.  Last week, Vahn had something in his hand we couldn’t figure out what it was.  i asked the ever knowing Cozette.  “It’s one of those things you wear on your hands so you don’t get stuff on it.”  Upon closer inspection, a condom which they thought was a glove.  i went upstairs and our room was littered with condom wrappers, those nose strip things, little bags you get with extra buttons for your clothes, and the insides of a bag filled with dried lavendar.  This neat freak thought she had lost her mind!

Today, i hear giggling and go upstairs.  Again, Vahn migrated to our room and they were getting into stuff.  In one arm i had the baby from next door i watch a little bit, and the other hand quickly had the phone.  i knew, left alone, my temper was going full throttle and it ain’t gonna be pretty.  i was forced to call Kevin or a child was going to be beaten.

Again, i heard more giggling.  Vahn and Cozette were in the bathroom and i smelled poo.   i asked who pooped and Vahn volunteered.  He had poop all over his butt.  i went into his bedroom to find the undies that held the culprit.  Instead to my surprise, i found two huge nuggets on the floor.  i found the undies, dry and no skid marks.  Which means…..he took his underwear off and took a squat on the floor!  Then Chandlur so nicely pointed out there was poop on the walls.  i thought i was going to loose my mind!  The baby is screaming and i have poop to clean.  FABULOUS!

These are the days i wish i could leave work and go home to a nice quiet house…mmm quiet house.  That idea sounds so fantastic!

i get a call from my sister (age 18) today telling me she has become a “dancer”.  i found out a month ago my little brother (age 19) has become a pot dealer.  All the while, my other younger brother (age22) is graduating on Friday to become a nuclear engineer for the Navy.  What happened??  We grew up in a middle class, suburban, church going family.

Two nights ago i realized how many lessons running teaches.  i realized why it appeals to some and not to others.  Chandlur has been asking for a while now to go running with me.  When i go in the morning that is me time and i don’t want to be distracted.  Finally, i decided to take him as an extra evening workout.  i had no idea how he would do.  We walked more than we ran and it was only about 1/2 a mile, however, it was fantastic.  Chandlur even said when we got home, he wanted to go again.  Along the way i talked to him about the little tricks i use when i get tired and don’t want to continue.  i was always the chubby one in the crowd and far from athletic.  He is incredibly athletic and far from chubby (its impressive what he can pack away!!).  To be able to bond with him over this sport is priceless for me.  The Olympics have been on quite a bit in our house this last week and a half.  Running has been the only sport he really got into and watched completely enthralled.  This mama’s heart swells with pride.  Maybe he will pick up the running bug too and we can have great times lacing up our shoes and going for a run together.

The lessons running has taught me:

• Discipline-if you slack off, you have to build your endurance up again.
• Positive Self Talk-when i get tired, i tell myself “ok, we are almost there “,  “just a few more feet”,  “to the pole, to the pole, to the pole”….you get the picture.
• Goal Setting-every week i go a little bit further than the previous week.  Also, acheiving a goal that is tuff.  Right now, it’s that huge hill comming back down Oleson.  i force myself to get to the top and boy does it feel wonderful, instant gratification from my goal.  Whew, makes me out of breath thinking about it.
• Self Confidence-knowing what i can/have accomplished.
• One bad time can’t get me down-There are times when my run for the day didn’t go well.  i have to assess why and not beat myself up.  The next one will be better.
• i am a role model-It’s humbling knowing how much my kids look up to me.  They all want to go running when they get older.
• When i quiet my brain, i can be inspired-When i have a problem and need enlightenment, or i need inspiration for a current project, i set my intention and take off.  All of a sudden it will come to me when i am only focused on my breathing.

i know i will never be a running superstar, however, i still can be in my own head.

This has been one of those crazy weeks that leave you doubting your sanity and ability to juggle all the balls at the same time. I had some extra kids, trying new parenting techniques fromLove and Logic, and just the usual busy we have going on with 3 young ones (the oldest is getting ready for kindergarten!), a business, and a household (which reminds me, i really need to get my kitchen floor clean! tomorrow??). There have not been many moments to sit and breath. Running with no headphones provides me those small moments of peace i am desperate for. i went for my run yesterday morning as usual. As i was chugging along (the joy of choosing a hilly route!) All of a sudden i saw an older woman i would guess mid fifties running toward me. She had short, just below the ears curly blond/gray hair. She had on black spandex shorts with a turquoise tank and listening to some headphones (and in great shape i might add). i can see her so clearly! She looked at me with a big grin and enthusiastically said “You go girl!!” This was no usual passing. Usually i can see someone coming because i keep my eyes up looking at the landmarks. i like to play mind games with myself so i don’t stop when it gets hard. Usually i get a wave, a smile, or many times a quick hi. After this woman passed my whole back began to tingle. It started at the base of my spine and went all the way to the top of my head (all through my chakras if you believe in them). In all of my experiences with the spiritual world, i have never before had this intense of a physical response. i think i was just encouraged by an angel!