so i had my first visit last week. i'm not sure what title she has, only that there are many letters after her name:) i really like her! our session was about an hour and a half. she said i definintely have depression. she isn't sure how much is biological and how much is situational. she is conservative with medication. basically she left it up to me. i decided to go on Zoloft because everything i'm trying i.e exercise, eating good, bath/reading time, and nothing is helping. i think we will also do some talk therapy. i just wanna feel better, myself. i feel bad for my family cuz they r getting the brunt of it all. Chandlur is having an attitude problem and i'm pretty sure it's cuz i'm having a tough time. i'm starting out on 25mg so my body gets used to it. after a week of that i take 50mg. she said that most women need 100mg but some do feel better after 50 so we will see where i get to.
another thing that is really torquing is my attempt at loosing my fat. i am trying soooo hard and not much is happening. because i am breastfeeding i have to keep my caloric intake between 1500 and 1800 to produce enough milk. i'm usually hovering around 1500, i'm eating every few hours, eating mostly quality protein and veggies with a couple carbs and fruit a day, working out hard 5-6 days a week for 30-60 minutes. i'm working my ass off and i've lost 6 pounds and somewhere around 10 inches i think. this last week….nothing!!! how much more do i have to do???? i am starting to go back to food to comfort me. i do still manage to keep my caloric intake pretty low. i just wanna eat and eat and eat. i know part of it is just being depressed, part of it is being hungry always cuz of breastfeeding, and partly cuz i'm breaking my body of old habits. this is just sooo damn frustrating. i wanna wave a magic wand and be cut with not much fat……maybe someday:)