this week my past has been on my mind. little things keep comming up that bring my mind back to it. it occured to me the other day that i'm being needy. then the next day i realized why. back then i was lonely and hurting with nowhere to go. thinking about that time brings back the physical feelings. many times i have to stop and look around to remind myself that's not who i am anymore and now i have an incredible, blessed life. those old feelings bring back that need for extra confirmations. i just have to stay present and remember where i am now and i have lots of support.
i've also been having these reoccuring dreams for the last year or so. the situations and people change but the general happenings remain the same. i am trying to escape or run from a situation or people. i have to wonder if it's my subconscience trying to run from this pain i have long shoved deep into my soul. a few nights ago i had another escaping dream except this one had a slight twist. i had a person on each side of me half dragging and half carrying me to safety. when we got far enough from the burning building, we stopped and waited for help. so does this mean i now have support so i don't need to run anymore?? it's amazing how your subconcience works!! i just can't wait til i heal and deal! i know that's gonna be a long way off but ooo how wonderful that will feel to have this heavy burden finally removed from my hear and soul!!