It never ceases to amaze me how God provides.  So Kevin has changed careers which has sent our finances into a tizzy, and him working at home which means I know exactly what he does.  About a month ago God and I had a conversation.  I really needed to give control.  I walked away with the mantra ‘increase my faith’.  This was faith in God as well as faith in Kevin to provide for us.  Two weeks ago at prayer group I opened up about this and my need for a clean house.  When I get obsessive over having a clean house, I know it’s a symptom of the feeling my world is out of control.  After that, it seemed something broke in me.  A peace started to fill my world, although I will confess, it isn’t 100% yet.

That following week financially was incredible.  Kevin took initiative and sold some stuff we had laying around unused on Craigslist.  Then we did our taxes and are getting back much much more than we thought (2 months of living expenses!).  We qualified for energy assistance and got almost all our PGE bill paid for.  To top it all off, we were able to get rental assistance.  There is this number you call at a certain time once a month and the first 40 people to leave a message receive it.  Amazingly we were one of the very lucky ones (you can imagine how many call for help each month).  I thought we would get half our rent paid and have to borrow the rest until our tax money came in.  Part of the grant is to give the person 30 days to catch up!  We should be getting our money in the next couple days to make that up.  One of those times I have to humbly get on my knees before God and apologize for not trusting Him.  He has always come through, why would I doubt now?  I am still in awe about that week!

As far as my faith in Kevin, that is a slower process.  It is coming along, just a little slower.  Since he is home I know what he is always doing (or lack thereof).  I want to be his wife and partner, not his boss reminding him to do his work.  I know this will be a process.  He learned a great lesson yesterday.  It was actually kind of funny.  I told him on the days he feels he doesn’t have ‘it’ to do more action to make yourself feel better and get out of that funk quick.  Later last night, one of those training him basically said the same thing.  It seemed to really click and I won’t lie, it felt good:)  I have been really proud of the effort he has been putting forth in this new business so far.  If he keeps up this momentum he has built over the last couple weeks, we will get very far.  I know it’s a journey for him too.