This year was really the first year my birthday was celebrated since I was a little girl. Since I was 18 my birthday has held a very personal place in my heart. It is much like an addict celebrates their sobriety date. This year has been 14 years since that day. Back when I was 17 I attempted suicide. It is truly by God’s grace that my life was spared.
After that night, the seed of greatness was planted. I knew God had spared my life so I could go on to do great things. I was really messed up and in a very dark place in life. I had no hope that I would ever mentally be better, nor that my life could ever be happy like those around me. Every year on my birthday I meditate on how far I far I have come since that scary night. It is so deeply personal that I never let anyone see. I would only say when my birthday was if someone asked. I would get upset when someone would try to make a big deal about it. As I have gained healing in my life, I have been more comfortable with people knowing.

This year was the pinnacle and in it’s own way that final inch of healing I needed. For the first time in my life, I had a surprise party. I had NO idea what my hubby and friends were planning. It was such a fun night with good food and good friends. I feel so blessed people love me that much! For the first time I didn’t get angry because someone wanted to do something special for my birthday. On the actual day, my hubby spoiled me. We bought a wedding ring to replace the one I had lost last October at Grace’s. We went shopping and I bought some jewelry and a few tops. We then went to Todai’s for some yummy sushi and saw a movie. He let me do whatever I wanted.

I know it sounds so cliche and trite, however, it WAS one of the best weekends I have ever had. For the first time on my birthday I felt special, I felt whole, I felt like all is right with the world.