I am an adventerous person.  I am also a control freak and planner by nature.  I know there are moments in my life where these two areas run parallel when they should intersect.  In the quest of my developing passions, adventure abounds.  I am eager to go out foraging for herbs, I am figuring out things to make, I have become passionate about placentas, I could go on and on in this new herbalism, placenta, doula world I have entered into.  I have truly found where I fit in so many ways.  I have no problem letting go and enjoying the ride.  My personal life however, my new mantra is “let go”.  My house is a mess because no one else will clean and I want to work on my business.  I have to let go that with 4 small kids, my house will never be perfectly clean, just good enough.  When my husband has said he was going to do something and it doesn’t get done….AGAIN.  I must let go and get over it so I don’t go crazy.  When I feel like I have forgotten something else, I have to let go and be ok with the fact I have millions of things going on and trivial stuff forgotten now and again is ok.  When that mantra of “let go” creeps up, I have begun to ask myself how I can give to myself that which others aren’t.  What do I need to do to not have to worry about this or that and focus on what makes me alive and happy.  Short of having a personal assistant to remember every little thing and a robot to keep my house clean (where is Rosie when you need her?), I am still on the quest.  At this moment, reminding myself to let go has to be good enough.  I trust that if I continue putting the thoughts of giving to myself what I need instead of outside forces/people, the answers will come.  They always do.

Growing up I was a bookworm.  My world was tumultuous and books were where I found solace.  I could escape into this amazing world where there were no limits.  In 4th grade, we made those simple little books.  The ones where you cover and color a piece of cardboard.  Then, the teacher takes it and binds the cardboard and the pages for you.  This love of books and the fun of writing have followed me.  Ever since that little 4th grader began to see her thoughts on paper, I have held secret dreams of writing.  For over ten years, I have dreamed of putting my life into print.  My life is a story of hope, of never letting go of your dreams, of finding solutions when none seem present, of personal healing, and of being so desperate I tried to kill myself to know loving my life.  Since becoming a mommy, I have vowed to never loose site of who I am.  I don’t want to be a mother completely tied to her children’s identity because first, I am Shannon.

Over the last year and a half or so, I have gone on a journey.  It started with some piddly selling on eBay and creating La Boutique de Vogue.  Now, it has completely morphed into something I never could have dreamed which is Vogue Mum.  My focus has changed from selling to writing.  I have even begun making money doing it!  This last week, I received an offer to be a contributing editor for Posh Mama.  I am beyond elated and certainly humbled.  I had to submit a book review as my “resume”.  I was incredibly nervous because the last time I have been “graded” for one was back in high school.  You never know how someone will take your writing style.  It was so well received, I was offered the position and asked if I wanted to do something else also!

It has always been in the back of my mind, however, I never thought it possible.  I am at the beginning of seeing a successful career from this. I feel like I am at the beginning of this dream I have held in my heart since being a little girl writing about how her bunny got fat.  As with this adventure with La Boutique de Vogue, I know one thing for sure.  This writing adventure will have many twists and turns and morph into something I never thought possible.

Moments like these erase the whiny morning and the sibling rivalry. i believe in speaking into my kids (i.e you are kind, gentle, thoughtful, brave etc.) and dream building with them. In our house we talk a lot about what they want to be when they grow up. After naptime i was snuggling my youngest (3 in 10 days). In the past he has said he wants to be a doctor who fixes cars (can you guess his favorite movie?) or a police officer. Today i asked if he wanted to be president of the United States (we have a president book we read and they memorize), he nodded no. Do you want to be a police officer? Again, nodding no. Do you want to be a fire fighter? Nodding no. Do you want to marry a rich girl so you can sit and watch t.v all day? An enthusiastic nodding of yes.