I am another statistic of sexual abuse.  I have over time become OK with that.  There was a time when hardly any of my friends knew, I was ashamed.  It was in my family and I felt if I said anything, I would shame my family.  When I was pregnant with Chandlur and my parents pretty much shunned me, I realized, it didn’t matter.  See, I was molested by my older brother who is about 3 years older than I.  I just feel sorry for him because I can see he lives in his own prison, a tortured soul I call him.  I really blame my folks.  They put all their time and attention into making sure he was taken care of and his life was as normal as possible.  I wasn’t the only victim, and thankfully one of them was braver than I.  She told her parents.  When it all came out, the already shaking bottom, fell.  I went into a free fall for about 10 years after that.  It was a horrible time for me.  I had no support and no one to talk to.  It was like my parents forgot I was there unless they needed me to watch my younger siblings so they could help him.  Without going into tons of loooong details, I became lonely, depressed, tried to kill myself, and generally hated life.  Even when my folks were told about all of this, they did nothing.  I somehow picked myself up and made a good life for myself.  It wasn’t until after I had Vahn 3 1/2 years ago that I sought help.  I was suffering from really bad postpartum depression and my doctor told my hubby, if I didn’t make the call that day, he was to drive me to the therapist’s office.  It all was a blessing in disguise.  Sometimes, it is a struggle because I do see my family a couple times a month.  However, I now feel whole.

For this reason, abuse is near and dear to my heart.  I recently came across this site, Teddy Tour.  I even wrote a message from my teddy to the world (I told my hubby and he even left me an awesome message.  Gosh, I’m lucky!).  If you are a survivor (please, don’t call yourself a victim), please, create your own teddy!  The more your story is told, the less of a hold it has on you.  Go tell your message!