*Be forewarned, this is some raw emotion. However, i am sure some can relate*For those who know me, know i am a crier. i cry when i’m happy, when i’m sad, when i’m touched, when i’m angry…you get the picture. Well, tonight is another fresh burst of tears. i feel like i am beginning to get lost in the shuffle and barely keeping my head above the water called Shannon. My hubby wanted to take his hand at his own business. Yea for him, unfortunately some stuff happened and we aren’t sitting as pretty as planned. Instead, for the first time in my life i feel guilty for buying hair dye (i have been dying my hair since i was sixteen and have never had roots like these), even for buying face wash! i am not sure how much more sacrifice i can give. i have already taken on a few day care kiddos (besides my own 3), and now Kevin is going to have to get a part time job for extra income and benefits. i have had to put any dreams for Vogue Mum and my doula services on hold indefinitely. How much longer do i put up with this?! i have begun to feel so isolated. i have anywhere from 3-6 kids 5 (one who doesn’t listen and a baby who needs quite a bit of attention) and under, no car (we only have one car), and no money. What’s a girl to do? i know i am the only person i can control.

In the middle of this post, my hubby comes home. i of course and now bawling. After some conversation (half of which me hardly being able to talk from bawling so much), he came up with an idea. He is constantly amazed at how much i know (i don’t think so on a daily basis until i actually sit, sit? You mean with no distraction of children or my brain? hhmmm i guess that’s really only when it’s me and my running shoes, wait, that’s not sitting, crap!). He had an idea of teaching a class on making money blogging. Within the past few months i am surprised at how well my business blog, Rock Star Maternity has done.  Yes, i have made some money.  Not earth shattering, but i have:)  i first began with OSI Rock Stars, and what a great base.  After i had the foundation and idea, i ran far and free.  When i stop and think about all the various resources and info i have, i am amazed!  Now i have another company to add under my La Boutique de Vogue.  i have Vogue Mum, Rock Star Maternity Blog, The Domestic Engineer’s Union, and my doula biz (i am still deciding on the name so i can’t release it yet, you understand right?), now i have to come up with another name and business plan.  i joke about running my 10 companies.  i guess it just like the Secret (a concept i got a long time before thanks to some great mentors), you attract what you speak.  THAT’s why i have a mocha baby, growing up i thought how romantic it would be to have a black baby (this damn brain of mine! If you know where the off position is will you let me know?).  i constantly envision my dream life which i vision my children in 10 years or so.  i know we will get there, its just this crap we have to go through first to be more relatable i suppose.  It just hit me, 10 businesses in 10 years.  i better get crackin’!!